Don't Call Me Midlife

Unlocking Wellness in Midlife with Mickee Stillman [Modern Mom Date]

• Alix Mackey & Nicole Stassinopoulos • Episode 36

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Ever wondered how to navigate the turbulent waters of perimenopause and menopause with grace and confidence? Today we sit down with Mickee Stillman, an expert health and wellness coach with a degree in kinesiology. Mickee offers invaluable insights on understanding and managing midlife hormonal changes, emphasizing the importance of listening to your body and adopting sustainable habits to feel your best. From balancing your maintenance calories to the benefits of hormone testing, she's here to help demystify the often overwhelming world of midlife wellness.

In this episode, we discuss:
1. Physical and hormonal changes during perimenopause and menopause.
2. Growth mindset and sustainable habits for midlife well-being.
3. Being part of a supportive community and seeking professional guidance.

You can connect with Mickee on:
Website http://sortafitmick.com
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sortafitmick/

Mickee's 1:1 coaching or group cohorts:
https://www.epnutrition.co/ 


Join the Midlife Squad:
Want to stay up to date on the Don't Call Me Midlife podcast and community? Click below so we can keep you in the know!
www.itstradish.myflodesk.com/dontcallmemidlife

Hang Out on Social:
Follow Alix on Instagram @everydaywithalix
Follow Nicole on Instagram @touch_of_stass

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Help us expand our mom-tourage! Share our podcast with your fellow mom friends and let's conquer midlife together.

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Don't Call Me Midlife podcast. I'm Nicole and I'm Alex. We're your coffee-addicted, wine-loving, amazon-obsessed mom squad. Think of us as your new besties, but with a podcast. And, just like you, we're navigating the Google-defined chaos of midlife while wrangling a pack of boys. But here's the twist we're more than just moms and wives. We're on a mission to reclaim our identities beyond motherhood, and we're bringing you along for the wild ride. Now, we don't pretend to have all the answers to life's mysteries, but we're so good at learning and laughing our way through them. So whether you're sipping from your trusty Stanley, indulging in an oat milk latte from Starbucks or raising a glass of Whispering Angel, get ready to hang with us Together. We'll keep it real, have some laughs and remind you that this crazy journey called life is one adventure worth sharing. Okay, ladies, you are not going to want to miss this episode.

Speaker 1:

Our friend Mickey is coming on. She is a health and wellness coach. She is a PN1 nutrition coach. She's a personal trainer, a mom of three boys. She lives in California. She's a personal trainer, a mom of three boys. She lives in California. She's an awesome person. Wait, don't forget about her degree in kinesiology. Yes, that degree there's more, there's more.

Speaker 1:

So, if you are in perimenopause, menopause or don't even know what we're talking about, this episode is for you. You will learn lots of tips and tricks, how to listen to your body, and just knowing that we are all in this community together is going to be comforting and that we're bringing to light all the information and you can feel your best, no matter what age. Right, nicole? Absolutely. The more you know, ladies, let's dive in. The more you know. All right, you know, ladies, let's dive in. The more you know. All right, hi, happy Thursday. We have Mickey Stillman here, and I can't even believe that she found the time to meet with us. She is one of these people that I just adore, so I am just so excited to jump in. She's going to talk all things health and wellness. She is a personal trainer, she is a wellness coach and just like an overall fun, cool person. So we're so excited you're here, mickey. Thanks for being here.

Speaker 2:

Yay, thanks for having me. I'm super excited.

Speaker 1:

Yay, okay, nicole, first things first. What's in your cup, girl? I have a lot of caffeine and I thought I was going to be healthier this morning. So, if my brother's listening, because he gave me some healthy bone broth to drink but I just didn't get a chance. I'm drinking lots of coffee because I had a big travel day yesterday and woke up super early. But that's, that's what's in my cup. That's what's in my cup. How about you, alex? Well, to, to probably your surprise and maybe the listener's surprise, I do have no caffeine. Um, I normally am super caffeinated, but today I am drinking I don't know if you guys drink Spindrift this flavor, nojito, is like my favorite. It's like a non-alcoholic mojito, nojito or whatever you call it.

Speaker 1:

I guess, so I'm just drinking a seltzer water. Today I've had some coffee and so I'm good, I'm well-rested, so I don't need afternoon coffee. Yay, mickey, what's in your cup?

Speaker 2:

Okay, I got two cups, you know, because I'm always carrying all the cups. I got figurative cups, I got literal cups, all the things. I start my day with lots of coffee because I need all the caffeine a girl can get. I usually put some protein powder in my coffee by like the second or third cup to kind of get myself just a little more leveled out. And then I go to water with element and creatine. So I got all the things.

Speaker 1:

So you taught me about the protein in the water. Do you use a little frother for it?

Speaker 2:

Protein in my coffee? Yes, I do, and I will tell you. I got this really awesome frother from Ikea for $1.50 and it like lived its best life until my husband decided he wanted to use it in his hot tea and honey and bound it up and didn't clean it, and I had to throw it away.

Speaker 1:

That's so annoying. That's so annoying.

Speaker 2:

I don't get a new mini frother for mother's day. It's game on.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, those frothers, I love those. I. I when, uh, you taught me I could travel with it and I do that now, and it's such a good way to just get that extra like 20 grams of protein in there. You gotta be careful with that frother, cause if I'm too aggressive with the frother, everything falls all over the place. I don't know if that happens to you guys, maybe it's just me. Okay, so a virgin froth? I can't even talk virgin frother over here. I don't use one, do you guys? Well, I just, I don't know. I don't know what you don't know what you don't know. So I don't know what I'm missing. But do you put in a little bit of powder and froth it up? Or like what's your? You know what's the?

Speaker 2:

steps. I just dump protein powder in my coffee and then just literally just stick my frother in there and froth it. I did learn the trick, though, that there's got. You know you've got to have room, otherwise you're covered in protein powder in the with the frother, and that's never good, that's what's happened to me?

Speaker 1:

That's happened to me for sure, but it's like a hot chocolate, I feel like you would like it, nicole. Oh, I for sure, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I definitely use the chocolate and stick it in there. It's like a mocha or a hot chocolate. Yeah, it's so good.

Speaker 1:

Chocolate element tea.

Speaker 2:

I use chocolate true nutrition, uh hydro beef isolate, so it's straight protein.

Speaker 1:

Ah, okay, I know Alex uses the chocolate element tea. So in my coffee it's good and you coffee it's good In your coffee.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, okay, I do. Yeah, watermelon Element in my water. I can't.

Speaker 1:

Sorry, elementi, I can't. Okay, nicole, I can't drink Elementi. I think she's crazy. I've sent her different flavors and she can't. I mean, I love Elementi. I can put it in, like my. A drink, like a margarita, it's so good. Is it too salty?

Speaker 2:

no, I only do like a third or a half a packet. Oh, I don't dump a whole one, it's too salty for me. Yeah, just do it. It was a whole packet in 40 ounce.

Speaker 1:

I just can't, that's a lot, that's a lot.

Speaker 2:

Okay, I only listen to Alex it's your fault, alex.

Speaker 1:

Well, I refresh my water during the day. I I mean, I do think it's. It could be a little too salty. Maybe it's like baby steps, nicole, like just a little quarter of a packet.

Speaker 2:

You know she's a hard. No, guys, she's a hard, no.

Speaker 1:

That's okay. That's okay. That's okay. Okay, we love your drink. Every time we have a guest on, everyone has a different drink. So Nicole and I love learning about like different people's drinks. So what do you think about midlife Mickey? I mean she has three like grown daughters who are beautiful people Two grown, Two grown Okay. You have three daughters and you, if you're watching this video, you would not even know that Mickey was like over 40. I swear you look so good. Maybe it's California Cause you live in like such a fun state.

Speaker 2:

I do love where I live. I'm pretty lucky. But yes, I have three girls, two, two grown daughters, one that's married and lives out of state, so I don't get to see her very often. She's 23. And then I have a 21-year-old daughter that's getting ready to go to nursing school and then we have our 11-year-old little fireball. So who still lives at home? I forgot you had a little.

Speaker 1:

That's so fun. She's great yeah. So, she's like prepubescent in your perimenopausal. That's what's that like? Oh, it's great. That's what's that like.

Speaker 2:

Oh, it's great, oh yeah, it's a lot of fun. So, you know, I feel like it's better now that you know I'm starting to get things kind of like under control, perimenopause wise. But yeah, like the mood swings, the rage, the you know, the low energy, that was fun for a while, for sure. Who?

Speaker 1:

can do it best, right? You or your daughter Wait?

Speaker 1:

that's true, nicole because we talk a lot about like perimenopause, menopause, like our second puberty, but we have boys, right. So it's like there's different things that we've got going on with our boys in puberty as opposed to I never thought about this, you guys. Girls, wow, oh my God. Now I'm glad I don't have a daughter. Yeah, we're both going through puberty. My poor husband, oh my God. Yes, we need a support group for these husbands, cause, literally, I'm like you guys. I have a lot of stuff going on through my body. They're like we know, we know, we know I'm like, okay, so so what do you think about midlife?

Speaker 2:

Oh, you know, it's really really fun and it's a change. And I feel like you know it's really really fun and it's a change and I feel like you know it's. It's a weird space for me because, as a like fitness and nutritional, you know, professional, I've been working out, I've been eating healthy foods, I've been tracking macros, I've been coaching 1000s of people, all these things and all of a sudden I'm doing all the things I have my own coach and it's like wait, why are things a little funky in?

Speaker 1:

this season.

Speaker 2:

Right, and so it's been. It's been kind of a. It's been kind of a fun event season, if you want to call it, but it definitely brings us challenges, I would say.

Speaker 1:

Can you talk about? You know, recently, your own sort of personal journey with the sort of perimenopause menopause, I think. Um, I think what you have to say about it will be really interesting, because a lot of what you talk about, sort of on your Instagram is you know, you've got, you've got the 30 year olds, you've got the 40 year olds and 50 year olds, right? So when we're trying to change something with our body, what we did in our 30 year olds is not going to work and why. And the 50 year olds are doing different things. So can you talk a little bit, cause I know you recently had a personal journey with this and what it? It makes you like a more relatable, better coach, right, because you're going through the same things, so you from have from personal experience. So can you talk about what that was like for you recently? Yeah, so for sure.

Speaker 2:

So you know, I was an athlete growing up, played softball in college, I mean like always, was super active, did all the things you know lifted. I've been lifting my whole life and tracking macros for a long time and it was like, you know, all these things work and and you get all these results really easily. And you know, after a baby it's like you can just drop your calories and it falls off. And then all of a sudden, like you know, in my early forties I'm going to be 48. In my early forties it was like, huh, this is weird. I just feel kind of lower energy. I just don't feel kind of like myself.

Speaker 2:

And looking back now, right, I'm like, oh well, of course you were starting perimenopause, but like the conversation, at least in my world, was not there. The conversation is usually like, oh, just eat your protein, eat your fiber, strength train, you'll be fine, you can build muscle, you can keep getting all these results. And I was like, yeah, but that just feels like it's just not really firing for me right now. And it's really interesting because as we start to go through perimenopause, right, hormones start to go all over the place and they're like fluctuating greatly, even within the month. A lot of times our energy level starts to come down right, like our movement starts to come down just because we're just so tired and like we got fluctuations going on At the same time. Hunger often starts to go up Right. So all of a sudden it's like that balance of what was working before is now off, and so we start to see that we start to put on a little bit of weight or we start to score extra body fat, when you're not really necessarily doing anything differently except movements. Changing your hunger is changing your energy, just the hormone shift, right.

Speaker 2:

And so we're kind of, without paying attention, you can get on this runaway train all of a sudden and then within five years, you're like, well shoot, I didn't even realize that because my energy level came down a little bit, hunger just kind of increased.

Speaker 2:

You might get yourself into like even a 200 calorie imbalance and you start gaining two pounds a month where you don't really notice it at first, and then, all of a sudden, within that year, you're up 10 to 20 pounds and you're like what the heck happened? I haven't done anything different, right? And so that was me, you know, yeah, paying attention and realizing that we're on this runaway train in this season doesn't mean you can't make progress, doesn't mean you can't do the right things, but it might be that, oh, we got to focus on some different you know, some different foundations and habits here, and so, you know, for me, looking back, I was like, okay, I wish I would have started paying more attention hormonally about five years ago. And you know, if we know that menopause can average starts at 52 or so and it can perimenopause can be 10 years before that, and of course, every you know somebody will start menopause way earlier, way later, and it can last 10 years after you lose your period. That's 20 years of your life, right, jeez?

Speaker 1:

Mickey, that, yay. I don't know whether to cry or be relieved knowing that information. I know.

Speaker 2:

But when I first learned that, I was like, well, why are we not paying attention to, like, one of the most significant periods of your life and what's going on? And sometimes what I see with myself and with my clients, who is, like you get stuck in this, like, well, I was, you know this XYZ size athletic movement whatever 10 years ago. Well, that doesn't necessarily apply, because everything's changing, especially if you've had babies, like your body's just gonna look different, just everything's moving around, right. So I started, you know, really paying attention. I hired my own coach over a year ago and I mean it's really great to have unbiased eyes on you, because even if you are a coach, right, like, you know what to do, you know all the things you think you're tracking, you think you're doing, but then all of a sudden, when you have someone else, look at you and go, okay, these are our holes, this is what we're going to focus on, and um, and it's very, very eye-opening and helpful. And so for me, it's like I have spent the last year focusing on hitting maintenance calories, which that can be a really scary conversation for somebody like, well, I don't want to maintain where I'm at, like I have all this progress to make? Like, how do I, why would I want to spend my time in maintenance? Because if our movements down, if our hungers up, if all the hormones are going crazy to go into a deficit, you're just adding so much more stress on your body. You're just adding this whole new layer of complexity that your body might not be ready for at that time. It's trying to regulate itself and now you're just like slashing calories. It's like you're really going to stall out progress. Not only that, it becomes an extremely sad and frustrating period when you're all you care about is shrink, shrink, shrink, when your body's going through all of this stuff. So it's not not saying that all hope is gone, that you can't lose weight, that you can't do the things, but it's like having the right mindset around what's the appropriate time and what's the appropriate way to do it.

Speaker 2:

So you know, for me, I spent about, you know, seven months or so doing maintenance, doing a very intentional surplus, but that's a whole other conversation. And then I went into a deficit and I spent five weeks slashed calories down. I dropped them by like five or 600 calories and for me the scale did not move 0.1 ounce, not 0.1. And you know, my coach is like what in the world is happening here? She goes, you know, aside from you doing all the work, you being super dialed in, like the only thing that's happening here is hormones. And so you know, the thing with hormone testing and checking and I'm speaking from a personal experience, right, I'm not a homeowner expert, like I'm not a doctor I'm just telling you kind of what I've experienced, and even subjectively, you know, looking at clients that I worked with over time and like what that looks like as a coach. I've seen data sheets and sheets of information.

Speaker 2:

But you know, for me I was like I had to get some blood work done. I had to do the thing and what I realized is because I was kind of avoiding it, I was like I don't want to know, you know. You know, and blood work can come back where you looks pretty normal. But when I my first stuff came back, you know, testosterone was like right and they say anything under 16 is like terrible, you know. And so now that I, for me I was like, well, no wonder I'm operating on like no testosterone, had no energy, all the work I felt like I was doing in the gym, I felt like I wasn't really building muscle, like I should have been right for the amount of food and the amount of energy I was putting in there. Just felt like I just wasn't sleeping. Great, you know, hair loss, all the things right.

Speaker 2:

And so you know, I worked on adding some testosterone and again it's. It takes time for your body to regulate from those things added for myself, added an estradiol patch, things. Like all of a sudden it's like six months later, it's not a week after you get the cream or whatever you're using. It takes time. Now I'm like okay, now I'm starting to feel more like myself. Went back to maintenance calories, added 600 calories, weight stayed exactly the same, like why would I eat less? Feel terrible about myself, be stressed that the progress is not happening like I want. Instead, I'm like all right, this is what we're going to do. We're going to focus on feeling fantastic, getting those hormones balanced out. And now here it is. What may? I might try another deficit in January and I'm okay with that. Right, that's a total mindset shift.

Speaker 2:

Big mindset shift.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's like the long game, Like we talk about certain things that are immediate results. But perimenopause is a long game and you know, I do feel like we're starting to talk about it more. So hopefully, like your daughter's generation, will be much more well-equipped equipped dealing with it. And you know, our generation now too, like with our podcasts and us talking to people like you, I think is just going to change so much.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it seems like you know a lot of the messaging on social media right now is like you can make perfect progress. You can be in a deficit and feel fantastic. Well, there's a lot of people that for some women it just doesn't work like that. Like it just you've got to get those hormones balanced. You know, if you force yourself into a deficit, if you, if we force the weight off, you absolutely are going to gain it back. It's not sustainable, right. So to do it where you're maintaining muscle mass, where you're taking care of those hormones, where you're making sure your metabolism is firing for the long run. Right, because we all want to be those super active, fabulous old ladies in a hot pink, those grandmas, right Like that's our goal.

Speaker 2:

Those grandmas Right. This is the mindset you've got to have, and I think one of the biggest things for me too is like making sure that I'm in a like-minded community. That I'm surrounding myself with people that are being number one, realistic, number two, you know, embracing that growth mindset, even with muscle, even with maintaining foundations and habits, and being really positive, because it can get overwhelming when all we see on social media is a handful of super fabulous people that look like they crush everything with no problem.

Speaker 1:

With these instant results. Right, and so I think I didn't realize at this age it is a journey, right and it's I wish I agree with you. Everything, whether you're talking about mindset, it's, and it's I wish I agree with you. I wish everything, whether you're talking about mindset, it's, it's with your mind, your body, your soul, like everything right now, our kids, like all this stuff that we're dealing with, like, give yourself a little bit grace. I wish you know I had known about this in my four, in my early forties. Right, cause I'm 46 and almost like, did a, did a blood test of of where was my baseline. Right, because now, when I had a situation where I was like I think I called you Mickey, I was like a crazy person.

Speaker 1:

April of last year, like, literally, was like yelling at my husband about something so little and my kids were staring at me. I'm looking at myself from the top and like who is this person? Right, that was like my moment. I've talked about it in the podcast. It was very embarrassing. It took a lot for me to talk, but I wish I had known. Like this isn't normal. Right, because I think our parents' generation. I asked my mom about menopause. She's like, oh, it's fine. I'm like, no, I don't think it was fine because no one talked about it. But I love how you're changing this landscape for women to know, guess what? I am in perimenopause but I can feel good, right, it may take six months to a year, so warn your family, but you will get there.

Speaker 1:

And in knowing when something happens and you don't feel good, a lot of times I was like, well, I'm just overly emotional, but you shouldn't not feel good. Right, really emotional, but you shouldn't not feel good, right? I think, well, that's what women hear a lot You're just emotional, You're fine, I mean I, I know I went to a doctor and he was like you're fine, it's just, you know, part of the aging process, You're too young. I mean, come to find out I had hypothyroidism, hashimoto's, I had all these things going on. And, like he, my blood work was normal, whatever test he did, it was normal. And I went to someone else and she's like, oh, you have Hashimoto's. Let's, let's start doing x, y and z and check back in a couple months. So but yeah, that default, you're fine, you're just being emotional, just, you's just, you know hormones.

Speaker 2:

I mean, my own doctor said you know, women in perimenopause can have like something like 60 different um symptoms 60. Wow. So if we have like two or three right, she's like that's actually. You know, that's actually pretty. Some people have 10 or 12.

Speaker 2:

Right, and so wherever you are on that um, in that scope of perimenopause, it's like no, this is, this is just the season, you're not crazy, you're not. There's nothing wrong with you. Right, like how can we get you to feel better? And so for some people, that is bringing an HRT. Some people don't want to do that. That's completely fine too. There's a lot of natural things you can do. But baseline, I tell, is we got to change the way you eat and we got to make sure that you're eating enough and that you're feeling energized. And our goal is to get bio feedback to where you're like I feel energized, I'm sleeping better, my workouts are good, I can go for a walk, right.

Speaker 2:

If you are in a space where, all of a sudden, you know a couple years ago you could, you could, you know you'd have dinner and you'd clean up the dishes and do the do the counter and all the things.

Speaker 2:

Well, now, all of a sudden, then I noticed this for myself All of a sudden I was like there were dishes still on the counter the next morning. I just didn't have the energy to like put them away. Wow yeah, and it was like that was. That was one of those things where maybe your steps aren't necessarily decreasing. But if that daily little bit of movement just wiping off the counter, getting the dishes done at night, you know, souping up the floor all of a sudden that stuff just kind of starts to you don't have the oomph. You walk through your messy garage and you're like it's fine. You know, before you would have been like I got to clean this. That's a sign, right, that there's something energy wise that's not firing on all cylinders. And I wish I would have known that, because I was like maybe I'm just tired, but no, it's like no I, there's something imbalanced that I need to get like in line first.

Speaker 1:

What do you see? A lot of the women Cause I know you do group coaching, you do one-on-one coaching Is there a trend that you see with women coming to you with a similar questions and challenges, whether you're 30, 40, 50, that doesn't, I'm just saying like your overall clients. What are some of the trends that you're seeing right now where women are having, like overall, just challenges, I guess?

Speaker 2:

I'm just curious. So I would. Yeah, that's a great question. So I think the first thing that I noticed and maybe more so, like last year, you know and it could be sometimes the people that I'm speaking to, who my audience is right that I have on social media a lot of it was like oh, I want to. You know, I want a fat loss phase, I want a deficit, I want to lose weight, right, and now that I've even switched my own story and I'm sharing, like what I'm going through and it's like you know what, that's all good, yeah, Some, you know people need to lose weight, yes, but what if we switch that and said, hey, let's get you to a place of eating enough food for a period of time first, so, and build all those habits and let's get you strong and let's get you energized, and then we'll talk a deficit down the road.

Speaker 2:

So now the people that I get coming in are like I want to feel better, I don't feel like myself, I am willing to eat more food and work at getting stronger first, and that is a very, very powerful mindset shift. So, even if we do have weight to lose, it's like no, I know I want to do that. But I also understand why it's important to embrace this season for what it is and stop that runaway train. Because if we don't like get the data and get the information that kind of slows that train down, we're looking at a hot mess in five more years.

Speaker 1:

So it's looking at you know, you said in the beginning like I want to make progress right. It's that mindset shift of what does progress actually look like. I know for myself, it's like trying to get seven hours of sleep right. I mean that sounds like so silly, but I'm a better person when I get seven hours of sleep right, it all falls around it. So, focusing on those other biofeedback markers right, that aren't necessarily weight loss, but it's stress, right, there's sleep. Aren't there six of them that you talk about?

Speaker 2:

Sleep, um energy, like especially in the afternoon, um hunger, right Um your workouts, right Um your workouts, your um.

Speaker 1:

Of course I'm having stress, stress, stress, yep, yep.

Speaker 2:

So, and I think one thing too is like um, a lot of times we we start to major in the minors in this season where we get so hyper-focused on I need to fast for X number of hours, I need to eat low carb, I need to keep my calories or my macros to a specific number. Um, you know, I need to get all this testing done. I need to make sure my gut health is good. All of those things are great in themselves. I need to have a CGM on my body at all times. I need to have these DEXA scans.

Speaker 2:

People start to get so bogged down in these like little things that these tools and these tracking habits that can be good, but they quickly become where you major in those minors instead of like taking a step back and going okay. So the way I coach is flexible tracking right. So we focus on protein, we focus on fiber and we focus on a calorie range that is healthy and sustainable for you to hit seven days a week. A calorie range that is healthy and sustainable for you to hit seven days a week. We focus on hitting daily steps 10, eight to 10,000 steps every single day, no matter what, and sometimes you know when people start, they start tracking. They're like, well, shoot, I'm only like at 5,000.

Speaker 1:

So interesting yeah.

Speaker 2:

And go to six and doesn't mean you have to go for an hour long walk. Start, start by doing you know, a lot of times I have in between calls, right, I'll have 10 minutes, so I'll go walk four minutes down my driveway, four minutes back and get back on a call. So those little habits like that, they add up really, really quickly. So, um, we want to get like a nice broad view of what our specific health um, health and wellness plan um is, because everyone's different, Like you said, alex, like there's a season, there's seasons where you're all you're focusing on is on your sleep, because you know that your business is growing and taking off and it's like how do I, how do I take care of those things that I need, you know, that are going to help make me a more productive and better mom, right?

Speaker 2:

So maybe it's sleep, maybe it's just, you know, eating enough food overall, eating enough protein. Just focus on tracking your protein. You know you don't have to. Every macro doesn't have to be dialed in to five grams. Like, just hit your protein, eat enough food, drink some water.

Speaker 1:

I think that's a, that's a huge like, miss debunker, or myth sorry myth that people start eating less, right? I have a lot of friends that are I'm like you need to eat way more, or they're eating some of the wrong, like they're older, a salad, right, and like there's just like. I'm like order double protein and they're like, wow, that's a great idea. So I think it's it's just like like changing this landscape on what you should be doing and not what you shouldn't. Right, because there are so many things during this age and this point in our lives that we can do right. Those little wins are what keep you going right.

Speaker 1:

I'm like I have an aura ring. I'm like, yes, I got seven hours of sleep. This is amazing. Or I drank water, right, I think water is hydration. It's like a huge thing, right. Well, I do love my Stanley, but you know, just drinking those little habits drinking a cup of water before you have your coffee that was like a huge thing for me. These little shifts that you talk about and really, really paying attention to your body, cause I didn't do that in my thirties. I was like I'm good, like this is awesome. Good, like this is awesome, until I literally turned 46, 11 months ago and I was like what is going on? So I think I wish I had also known earlier to listen to your body, because we're go, go, go all the time, as busy moms that taking that moment, even five minutes a day, to check in with yourself on all those types of things that you're talking about.

Speaker 2:

Well, you know we're also, we're so good at handling stress in our thirties, right, Like you got toddlers you got and and generally like you're, you just can handle your stress and then all of a sudden that stuff starts to build up and then perimenopause. We just don't handle stress like we did before, right, and we've got different parts of our life Sometimes we're dealing with, you know, like for myself, I've got grown girls, but I've also got a little one plus ailing parents. So now I've got those things going on where in your thirties, generally like your life is, you know you're generally parents, are pretty healthy, you're not the caretaker necessarily for someone else too, but as you, you know, as you get older, like all that stress and stuff and the way you can handle it shifts significantly. Like all that stress and stuff and the way you can handle it shifts significantly. So you know it's it's so important to for me that I get that message out, that there's seasons and we can't be focused on shrinking ourselves and being the smallest version of ourselves our entire life.

Speaker 2:

Like there's seasons where you got to have that growth mindset. You've got to have that space where you're like I'm okay, yeah, I'm sitting 10 or however many pounds heavier, but I'm feeling really good. I'm learning what it means to put myself first for the first time. I'm learning what it feels like to, you know, feed myself enough nutrients in the day and have water, and to maybe start pulling back on alcohol, even right. So in our 30s I mean, we can go out and party all night and keep rolling the next day. All of a sudden, in your 40s, you have one glass of wine and it's like I can't wake up in the morning.

Speaker 1:

That should be the like first sign in perimenopause. I think we should write a checklist.

Speaker 2:

Number one.

Speaker 1:

You have one glass of wine and you're hungover the next day, like that is a year's worth of stuff For all of our listeners that are listening to this. If you feel that that's the shift.

Speaker 2:

It's good and it's bad. It's good and it's bad, yeah, yeah. If you have one glass of wine and you feel terrible the next day, if there's dishes on your counter, if you want to kill everyone in your house. Thanks, you're crazy, yeah.

Speaker 1:

If people are looking at you with a side eye, you know that's amazing. Mickey, you need to do a funny reel like that. That would be hilarious.

Speaker 2:

Right, I do like the funny reel. You do like funny rails?

Speaker 1:

I like that?

Speaker 1:

What if so? What if we have our listeners here, our ladies, that are thinking gosh, you know, I am, I'm 45, you know, and if I I'm feeling some of the things that you guys are saying, like I'm really listening to what you're saying, what do you think is, just if you were going to give advice, mickey, on what is the first thing that a woman I know there's lots of different things should focus on right at this point in our lives. If maybe you have low energy, you can't drink as much, you know you're not feeling as strong, like your workouts aren't as good, right, because that shift from cardio to strength training is like a whole nother podcast, but that's an important part of it, right, we've got these people I used to do the Peloton and Orange Theory and sort of all this stuff and sort of shifted more to strength training, which is important, and I think that word is getting out. But if you have someone that's feeling like some of these symptoms, like you said, what do you think is the first thing they should do?

Speaker 2:

Okay. So for me because I'm a nutrition coach and this is where I dive in I'm going to say the absolute first thing we need to do is really be completely honest and track all your food. And so what happens so many times is we give ourselves these limits and Monday morning we're just going to like restrict Monday through Thursday and then all of a sudden, like you kind of like start to lose that white knuckle hold on your nutrition and so maybe we don't track dinner on Thursday night or Friday we track a couple meals. Or you know, maybe we're like we restrict during the week so that we can have fun on the weekends. But what happens is what we start to see is that puts most of my girls that come in into this accidental maintenance, accidental surplus scenario of nutrition, right, where, um, the majority of the time that just stores extra body fat. It doesn't really do anything good for you, right? So we start to track and I tell people, if you're going to have 14 margaritas on Sunday night, just track them all. Or Wednesday, whatever. I always said Sunday because yesterday was Cinco de Mayo. But you know, just track them, because then we're going to see what you're actually consuming and then we might start to go okay, well, you know your weight staying pretty flat like, but you're actually consuming, you know, 2000 calories average a day. So, instead of putting yourself at 1400 Monday through Thursday, just start eating 2000 every day and let's see what that feels like. And then all of a sudden they get to this place where like, wow, I can actually do this, this, see what that feels like. And then all of a sudden they get to this place where like, wow, I can actually do this. This feels really good. So we do that for a period of time, right.

Speaker 2:

So we start eating enough food, but consistently. We focus, like I said, flexible track. We just get around that calorie range that you need to be at. Hit enough protein, hit enough fiber. Carbs and fats can fall where they may. They really can, right? So focus on your overall nutrition for several weeks. See how you start to feel. Drink enough water, get outside in the sunshine, start adding in some steps those people that then start to do that. That makes a huge difference for the majority of people.

Speaker 2:

Once we start doing that right, then we can start diving into some of the deeper things. So then we start to go okay, now we're going to focus a little bit more detailed on maybe some of the deeper things. So then we start to go okay, now we're going to focus a little bit more detailed on maybe some of those macros, or maybe your specific workouts, or what is your strength training workout look like? How can we challenge that a little bit more? So then we spend time and now we're really focused on those strength training workouts.

Speaker 2:

So then we we work on that and then after a while some people get really, really dialed in with things and they're like you know what this feels off, because now all of these things have balanced out and for many, many people, those simple habits will fix many of the hormonal, sex hormone kind of symptoms that they're having Not everyone sometimes. Then, after you get those foundations set, now we can go okay, maybe you should get some blood work done to see where your baseline is. Maybe now you should maybe do a Dutch test or saliva test or whatever that looks like for you specifically, right, right, maybe those types of things. So a lot of times we skip all of this work first, because that's slow and boring and requires, you know, consistency and dedication.

Speaker 2:

Right, I'd rather just go get tested and see if I can get a cream. No, because even when you do that, when we add you know, for me it was like adding that testosterone cream it pulls water in. Yeah, the scale went up, didn't change anything, it wasn't I gained a bunch of fat, it's just there was a little extra water weight, right, so so, and I'm understanding how that all works together, and so I always recommend, like the first thing you need to do is like really focus on taking good care of yourself with your nutrition and your workouts, and not doing it from a place of self hatred, panic or fear, because majority of women start to go like I gotta, like I gotta lose weight Cause I'm just, I'm not, I'm not loved where I'm at, and that's not true, right?

Speaker 1:

And I think that's that is a huge mindset shift. I remember when it was like I was so, I was in that cycle of so so, so good. And then you're like eating all this stuff on the weekend or drinking, and when I had like I think it was like pizza for the first time in a while, like on a Wednesday night, I was like, oh my gosh, this is like the coolest thing ever. And my kids were like, what are you doing? Is this like a cheat day? And I'm like, no, this is not so giving yourself like you can't, just, you can't just eat all this stuff on the weekend, Like it is seven days. It is the consistency, Right, and I I think that's a huge mindset shift for women, how we grew up with our moms and our generation.

Speaker 2:

So, girls, you can have peace on a Wednesday. Women, yeah, yeah, women also. We don't understand that when you eat enough food seven days a week, it changes everything All of a sudden. You don't. You just have this food freedom that you probably have never experienced before.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's an amazing place to be.

Speaker 2:

Restricted mindset. So you're in this like shrinking mindset where all of a sudden you're like how about if I let go of some of that just for a season?

Speaker 2:

I'm not saying go YOLO, you know, go crazy. Cause let me tell you that has actually happened to a couple of my clients where they're like what do you mean these are? Let me tell you that has actually happened to a couple of my clients. They're like what do you mean? I coach from minimums. I'm like hit 130 grams of protein minimum and aim for 1,900 calories minimum. They're like minimum I can go over.

Speaker 1:

It's like, well, you can, don't go crazy, we want to do it.

Speaker 2:

There's prescription here on how we want to do this. I'm not saying go YOLO, but you also. Once you start to shift that mindset and really pay attention, it's um, it's very, very, it's freeing.

Speaker 1:

A lot of people will say tracking food or tracking your macros whatever works for you is so, is so hard and it's going to not let me eat what you want. It's actually freedom, because once you see what you're eating, you can eat more of the good stuff and you really make those intentional choices of what makes you feel good. Right, Like my husband. I mean, he's a guy but he can't eat fried food anymore, Right, so he knows that about himself, so it doesn't make him feel good. So I'm like, so why would he eat it? I'm like I could never give it my French fries, but you know it's it's again. It's that part of the nutrition of listening to your mind and what feels good for you and not having that restriction, because no food is off limits, no food is bad. Like, all food is good food, right, I mean with a few exceptions, but, but so okay. So if someone's listening, start with your nutrition, look at what you're doing. Um, and being consistent doesn't mean you have to eat rice and, you know, chicken every day.

Speaker 1:

Cold flour no thank you, but where can people and where can people find you, Mickey, If they're like I want to talk to you more, learn more.

Speaker 2:

Yeah for sure. So Instagram you can find me on Instagram at sort of fit Mick it's my name, sort of fit Mick, and I have a whole little thing in there. You can actually schedule a free 20-minute consult. If you're thinking about one-on-one coaching, or even I do group cohorts also, which is really cool because I work for a company called Elevated Pursuit Nutrition, epn, and our goal is that as you go through nutrition coaching with us or cohort coaching with us, that you're never going to need another nutrition coach. When you graduate, like, you will know so much about yourself, you will have learned how to implement um true periodization for your year and you're going to have the tools that you need to take yourself to that next level. But it starts with um maintenance calories, so eating enough food.

Speaker 1:

It is a numbers person, like she said, and she I have done both her individual coaching and group coaching. And I like the group coaching because if you are looking for a community, like she's saying, of like-minded individuals, I mean these people you know you share pictures of food, right. If you're into that, you don't have to. You can share your win, right. There's a lot of different ways that you can participate in these cohorts if, if that's your jam and that's going to fill you up. But also, mickey does one-on-one and I just love talking to her. I was like I don't think I can track macros, but I might keep these meetings so I can just talk to her.

Speaker 1:

She has such a wealth of knowledge and really keeps you grounded in terms of, like who you are and where you want to go. Right, and realizing that journey is just as important because the end game is going to be different every single time. So that journey is going to make you who you are. And I like how you talk about seasons, because we're coming to the summer, right, there's going to be more food, more parties, more you know cocktails if you drink cocktails, but so maybe right now isn't the time for you to be in a deficit. Maybe it's like you know what.

Speaker 1:

I just want to get my hormones straightened out and I just want to hit maintenance and enjoy my summer right, not going yolo feel good and feel good put on that bathing suit, feel good, go to the beach with your kids, go to the pool with your husband, like do the exercise feel really, really good, and you know, but Mickey helps you through that sort of every season, um, and she's just so kind and just helps you, helps you along the way, in every aspect. So reach out to her. For sure I love her. So, nicole, what time is it? It's my favorite time. It is unsolicited advice time, and so okay, so what? You, you, we've given a lot of advice, right? Maybe Mickey doesn't have to do this, nicole, because she gave like so much advice already she did. Maybe she can give like unsolicited advice about raising three girls.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, raising three girls in perimenopause and puberty and all of that. Yes, give us. Give us your little trick, give us your trick.

Speaker 2:

Okay. So here is one piece of advice that I tell my girlfriend. So I am in this wine club, okay, so there's five couples in our wine club and we are we are all different phases of life and there's, you know, one of the girls is a grandma, right, and you know she's gorgeous and fabulous. Wouldn't guess that she's a, you know, grandma, but she has grandbabies. And then our other one friend just had a newborn infant baby. So we've got the full gamut of newborn to grandma going on in our wine club. So we have a lot of fun in there.

Speaker 2:

But you know, and then some of us have daughters and sons at all different ages, and so I think the biggest piece of advice I like to give is, now that I have come through, you know, getting two daughters out of the house. They're functioning adults, they are fabulous, right, like I, we always my husband, I joke, we're like. Those two girls are so amazing in spite of their parenting, amazing in spite of their parenting. We failed them in a lot of ways. But you know, looking back, and when you're in the weeds of like middle school, high school, especially with girls, because I don't have sons, I don't know, but it's sometimes it feels overwhelming and you're like they hate me, I don't like them, this is never going to end Like what's going to happen to us. Are we going to be friends when they're older? And it's really frustrating and so.

Speaker 2:

But coming out of it, adult kids are a whole nother level of spectacular. They are so much fun and you know, of course, you know we all we've had to say our sorries and move on and all the things. But seeing that and it just really helps me in the moment, now with the 11 year old, when I'm going through these things, I'm like okay, this is, it's going to be. Okay, it's really hard right now, but you come into it a little bit more grace and kind of patience, because you're like hey, there, these kids are having really big feelings, just like us in perimenopause. We don't know why we fly off the handle. Same kind of thing Right. So now it's like okay, now I'm kind of like you have a bit of um, grace and um, you know perspective, I think in that season of their life too.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, I love that. It's going to be okay, you're going to survive and it's all going to work out. It just may feel really, really hard in that moment.

Speaker 1:

I like the part that you said that they're not going to hate you, right? Because Nicole and I have boys and it's like I've learned like I can't even talk to my middle son in the morning, like I can't even look at him, I can't even acknowledge him, like anything, and I was like, so I like that that just be there for them, meet them where they're at Right, cause every kid has different needs and and I remember not liking my mom at this age, so, and now I'm like very close with her, obviously, thanks, mom Love you.

Speaker 1:

I think my advice would be actually just follow Mickey, right, even if you're not interested in the coaching. She has a lot of good things to learn, right, because you may be in the beginning of your journey and like, ooh, I'm not sure about some of the things that they all were talking about today, but, um, there's a couple of things. So, be open to learning about your journey, and I think your sort of Instagram page is really helpful in that and normalizing the things when you feel good, when you don't feel good, right, and I think I think that's really important to do that. Um, so, yeah, that's what I would say Keep learning, keep learning about yourself. It's a journey.

Speaker 2:

I love it. I love it Right. I've I've been in this, I've been in this industry, in this space for, like you know, 25 plus years. So I've seen it all. I've been through all the, all the things. We've been through all the you know fen, fen. Now we're going through Ozempic, I cycles of all the things. So you know, just like I said with the kids, like you'll get through it, you're going to get through whatever season you're in, and I've seen a lot. I've seen a lot.

Speaker 1:

Oh, nicole, share my own personal experience. What would you say, Nicole? I would say whether you have boys or girls, because I do talk to my boys about what's going on with my body Um, I don't give them details, but they do know words like perimenopause and menopause. So I do think it's important to have those conversations with with your, with your, with your children and your spouse. I mean, you know, we're learning right now as 40 something year old women, like we have to. I think we just have to teach our younger generation and, like my kids, sometimes when I'm flying off the handle, they're like are you on your period, mom? Like you know, it's just like no, and that'll get you more mad.

Speaker 2:

You're not allowed to ask me that Like what are you doing? Like what mad?

Speaker 1:

when I say something like that You're not allowed to ask me that what are you doing what? But at least they're aware of my mood shift. So I'm hoping that it would help their future partner that they can know that it's not personal. Maybe it's just hormones or it's just a moment in time.

Speaker 1:

This will pass. Yeah, as Mickey said, so comfortable it may not be comfortable. I think we need a husband support group, though. Mickey, you need to have a branch of your business, because I will talk to this with Alex till I'm blue in the face, right, but he still doesn't get it. You guys like I think I'm going to have him listen to this podcast, because we know our husbands don't always listen to our podcast. I am going to earmark this, this episode, and be like listen. Maybe you need a one-on-one with Mickey. Like about me.

Speaker 2:

You need a one-on-one with Mickey's husband, exactly.

Speaker 1:

We need a husband support group.

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh Well thank you, mickey, so much, this was awesome.

Speaker 1:

And it was so nice. Thank you for taking the time for us and talking about all these fun things.

Speaker 1:

So we will talk to you soon. Thank you, and that's a wrap for today's episode of Don't Call Me Midlife. We hope you had as much fun as we did. Absolutely, your support means the world to us. If you're just waiting in the carpool line, don't forget to the world to us. If you're just waiting in the carpool line, don't forget to follow the show. And if you're feeling extra spicy today, leave us a rating and review Before we part ways. We've got a special invitation for you. Join our newsletter to stay in the loop with all things midlife, magic, bonus content and more. Head on over to the show notes for how to sign up. We can't wait to keep the conversation going. And, of course, remember, in the whirlwind of life and motherhood, don't forget to fill up your own cup first. You're extraordinary and your journey is worth every moment. Until next time, cheers.