Don't Call Me Midlife

Breaking Mental Health Stigmas with Julie Polmonari [Modern Mom Date]

June 20, 2024 • Alix Mackey & Nicole Stassinopoulos • Episode 37

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What happens when a busy mom decides to take on the mental health stigma? Julie Polmonari, co-founder of Mom2Mom, joins us to share her inspiring journey from overwhelmed mom to mental health advocate. In this episode, she opens up about her deeply personal experience as a suicide loss survivor and how it motivated her to start Mom2Mom - a peer support group breaking down stigmas around mental health for mothers. Julie's story highlights the critical importance of prioritizing mental well-being for moms juggling immense pressures, providing an uplifting example of resilience through open conversations.

In this episode, we discuss:
1. Challenges of getting people to open up and talk about mental health struggles.
2. Importance of normalizing conversations around mental health.
3. The need for more mental health professionals and wellness resources.

You can connect with Julie on:
LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/juliepolmonari/
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/jlpolmonari/


Join the Midlife Squad:
Want to stay up to date on the Don't Call Me Midlife podcast and community? Click below so we can keep you in the know!
www.itstradish.myflodesk.com/dontcallmemidlife

Hang Out on Social:
Follow Alix on Instagram @everydaywithalix
Follow Nicole on Instagram @touch_of_stass

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Don't Call Me Midlife podcast. I'm Nicole and I'm Alex. We're your coffee-addicted, wine-loving, amazon-obsessed mom squad. Think of us as your new besties, but with a podcast. And, just like you, we're navigating the Google-defined chaos of midlife while wrangling a pack of boys. But here's the twist we're more than just moms and wives. We're on a mission to reclaim our identities beyond motherhood, and we're bringing you along for the wild ride. Now, we don't pretend to have all the answers to life's mysteries, but we're so good at learning and laughing our way through them. So whether you're sipping from your trusty Stanley, indulging in an oat milk latte from Starbucks or raising a glass of Whispering Angel, get ready to hang with us. Together. We'll keep it real, have some laughs and remind you that this crazy journey called life is one adventure worth sharing. Good morning, how are you? I am so excited about this Modern Mom Day.

Speaker 1:

We have Julie, who is a busy mom of two. She is in the Boston area, she is the co-founder of an organization called Mom to Mom, where her and a co-founder are trying to break the stigma against mental health, and she is also I just have to say one of my very dear besties. I met her when I was actually pregnant with Baker. So she is bringing to light some really important topics that are serious, but something that needs to be talked about 100%. I am very much a pro-mental health advocate and Julie has started this mom-to-mom and it is just so important and I'm just, you know, ready to dive into this and maybe this will touch someone and help them in a way that they didn't know they needed. Yeah, so keep listening If you, you know, even if you feel like you are feeling overwhelmed as a mom, or you know someone that is feeling overwhelmed, or even if you're not, this is just a really good discussion about mental health and holistic health and also helping our teens. So listen and we hope that you enjoy it.

Speaker 1:

We have a really special Modern Mom date. We have Julie on here, and it's special because she is one of my oldest mom besties. I literally met her when I was pregnant and she had just had her first son, aiden. So she is one of my dearest, bestest friends. So thank you, jules, for taking the time to come on today. Nicole and I are so excited to talk to you.

Speaker 2:

I'm so excited to be here. This is not the way I usually start my mornings and, believe me, it's a treat.

Speaker 1:

And I just want to tell the ladies who are listening that both of these ladies have so much in common. When I was thinking about them last night, when I first met both of them, they were just and I've said this again about, I've said this a lot about Nicole they were both very cool people, like they just have this, like vibe, where you're, like I want to be friends with them.

Speaker 1:

They also are both unbelievably beautiful on the inside out and they both always know how to dress. It is amazing. I mean, they're texting pictures of shirts today and I'm like I'm lucky I took a shower, so they both. I'm just excited about this conversation. It's a serious but needed topic and so just bringing to light let's just start out, nicole what is in your cup? Well, I have some matcha this morning, so I'm trying to shake things up a bit. Yeah, matcha with some almond milk. So I'm being adventurous, stepping out of my coffee. You always have fancy drinks, you know. I just have a cup of coffee in my to-go mug because it's summertime and I am in the car a lot and it's probably maybe you guys have guessed it's like my third cup of coffee. So I'm good, I can't. What's?

Speaker 2:

in your cup, julie? Well, I have my Stanley, because Alex loves Stanley's and my cup today is filled with a grapefruit element. You guys know those elements salty, electrolyte water, Less. You think I'm some crazy like hydration person. No, I've already had two massive cups of coffee. There could be a third of my future, but for now I'm going to hydrate.

Speaker 1:

We do love our coffee. We do love Element Tea, except for Nicole. Well, I think I'm going to have to try it again. My sister-in-law told me that it needs to sit a little bit longer, so I'm going to try it again. You're like high-maintenance Element Tea, Nicole. It's like a non-alcoholic margarita. I put it in margaritas, you guys, I put the lime. It's so good. Interesting, I do have to say okay, I'm a big fan of the Stanley I love.

Speaker 2:

Stanley. However, I've noticed that the straw is giving me like deep lines around my head. So I've heard this is this is a real thing to my, my husband, and he literally said.

Speaker 1:

So I've heard, because I was drinking the other day and I never smoked, so I don't have. I never had, like you know but all of a sudden. I'm like, oh my God, what is going on? And um, they're like well, mom, just take out the straw. I'm like, oh, yeah, anyway, I just thought I'd put that out there into the world, in case.

Speaker 2:

OK, well, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that ladies.

Speaker 1:

OK, because I have, like Stanley's, all my time. So let's, let's, let's, let's ask Julie, before we get into this topic of what do you think, julie, about midlife?

Speaker 2:

You know, I'm rolling with the punches. I think it's fine. Do I think it's amazing? I'm rolling with the punches, I think it's fine. Do I think it's amazing? I'm not sure. I think it's fine. It's fine, okay, what's?

Speaker 1:

my alternative.

Speaker 2:

Let's start there.

Speaker 1:

You're like I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.

Speaker 2:

I'm a big believer in like all the things, anything that's going to help you get through it with greater ease or more confidence. So trust me, I do all that stuff. I'm cool with it. I'm cool Midlife and.

Speaker 1:

I are friends. Yeah, you're friends. Okay, well, we're not going to be here forever guys. No, I like that, we're going to long for this some days.

Speaker 2:

Ladies, let me just be the bearer of the bad news here.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, yes, yeah. I like when I told.

Speaker 2:

Alex, this lasts for 20 years. He's like are you serious right now? I mean there are some there are some things happening that, trust me, are less than ideal. But again, like, what am I gonna do? I'm just trying to embrace, trying to embrace.

Speaker 1:

So it's fine, okay, I think I think we're all on the same page here. So we. Julie is a busy mom, um, she lives in the Boston area as well, and she started an organization that I would love for you to tell us about. It is called mom to mom. It's in the South shore of Massachusetts and she did this. Um, she also has a full-time job and so this organization sorry is very personal to her. So I'm proud of her for doing this and I want, I want, from your story, tell us about the organization and why you started it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, well, I mean a couple of super, super quick disclaimers. First, I'm not the only founder. There is somebody else who founded it with me. I'll tell you a little bit about how that came to be in a sec. And the other thing is, you know, mom2mom, it is a peer-to-peer resource group that came together to break the stigma around mental health. People don't want to talk about mental health, so we put together this like consortium of women who do want to talk about it. But I just want to let everybody here know we are not therapists, we are not offering life-saving advice. We are just trying to normalize a conversation around mental health because we feel it needs to become super duper normal. So I know why Alex is crying.

Speaker 2:

Alex is one of my best friends and we're super close and she knows my backstory. My backstory is this you know, I used to feel that being a suicide, loss, survivor, was something for them. It was something for I don't know anybody, but not me. It's like whoa, when I, when I heard about, you know, suicide, that felt like it was on like an island, and I was on a different island and I would just never be part of that island until one day and I'm really open about my stuff. But just for your audience, I am going to try to speak in generalities about the person I've lost from suicide, out of respect for those in the person's life who aren't as open.

Speaker 2:

So, 2018, I mean, I felt like I was shot by a gun. I truly fell when I found out that a loved one had taken their life and I was shot by a gun. I truly fell when I found out that a loved one had taken their life and I was thrown into a world of hurt that I didn't even know existed. Like to quote our girl, I was down bad, like I was down so bad, it was so hard and, um, you know, I got really lucky. I mean, number one I ran to a therapist, did not walk, ran. I wouldn't say that person saved my life because my life was never in danger, but I had her help and she was amazing.

Speaker 2:

And then I had these friends, like coming out of the woodwork. So one of my friends, emily, she came to me and we were sitting on my porch and she was asking me how my loved one died and I told her straight up and honestly my loved one took their life and she and I were talking and we were just talking about mental health and I shared with her that this person I don't think had ever really been comfortable with the concept of seeking medical help, mental health they just that wasn't their thing. And Emily shared well, you know, I've struggled, my family members have struggled with mental health and we have gotten help and and here are all the things like we've done. And you know, people, people seek treatment just like they would if there was cancer or ulcer or whatever right, some common theme.

Speaker 2:

And it was kind of this moment of like you and I are different sides of the same coin. Like you are the side of I did something and I'm the side of what happens when you don't. And we in 2018 said, oh my gosh, like should we just come together and start talking about this shit, because nobody else is and if we don't talk about it, nothing's going to change. So we didn't do anything for a minute. You know, kind of went our separate ways a bit and unfortunately, you know, in my little cute town I live in this beautiful, quaint seaside town and we have had our share of suicides and there was a woman in town who passed and Emily and I were just like this is enough, like this is enough, right, we're just gonna, we're just gonna get moving on this project that we thought about four years ago at the time, and we put together mom to mom, hang them.

Speaker 1:

So when did that start, Jules? What year did you start it?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, well, the concept was kind of like conceived in 2018. Dang, it was a long pregnancy. We were like pregnant with the idea until November 22, I think it was. And then in early 2023, we just started saying, okay, well, who has a different perspective Like I'm a suicide loss, survivor Emily's. Somebody who has a different perspective Like I'm a suicide law survivor Emily. Somebody who has personal reflections and experiences with mental health, what could we do? Like, who else could we bring? So our group was like a social worker, maybe two, a licensed psychologist, a nurse really interesting, a select person in our town and there were like school counselors oh my gosh, guys, the things happening with the teens and it's just. It's a consortium of people with backgrounds who all just wanted to say, hey, we struggle with mental health, it's all good as long as you make it so. And we put together peer-to-peer support groups and just started Was it popular?

Speaker 1:

Not popular, but were people flocking to your groups right away, or was it like a slow trickle? How did that come?

Speaker 2:

about. Well, it's interesting and I'm happy you asked because you know we're trying to do something pretty bold, pretty intrepid. We want to break the stigma of mental health. It's so funny Like you listen to podcasts and people will talk about their sex lives, or they'll talk about their health, with menopause right For our audience, or they'll talk about you know a multitude of things, but you really don't hear people talking about, like you know, I'm going through a hard time, I'm not okay, I'm pretty vulnerable right now.

Speaker 2:

You just, you just like, don't hear that. So we know what we're doing is hard and therefore, nicole, I wish we could say people were like flocking to our groups. What we lacked, however, in quantity, we have had in quality, because I can't tell you how many people have said to us your group helped me so much. And we have always said if we even help one person, mission accomplished. But we're rejiggering things, right, we're rejiggering things based on a ton of things that have happened locally in Hingham, based on research, based on need. So we're rejiggering things to get better ways for more people to come, whether they say nothing, whether they say something, just playing with formats a bit.

Speaker 1:

Is it people that are struggling themselves or people that may have loved ones, or is it just? Is it both?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, well, I mean, I think it's kind of both, and like, one of the things about mom to mom is we really play by Vegas rules, so we want people to know look, if you come and you have something on your mind, share it. And I've not. I mean, alex, you know nothing about what we discuss in there. In your Road to my Closest Friends, like I can't share.

Speaker 2:

But sometimes it's somebody's got something. Other times we'll do a topic, Like I spoke about grief. I hate to say it, but I think at our age, guys so many of us are struggling with grief so many of us, yeah and with parents, oh my gosh, it's horrible. But we'll kind of go in a way that the conversation organically takes us.

Speaker 1:

So what have you found with this stigma, right, is it? I know us growing, we all grew, we're all the same age, so we grew up. You know, we didn't talk about any sort of learning challenges. We didn't talk about feelings, we didn't, you know? Um, what have you found in doing this organization? Are people feeling like, oh, if I admit, as a mom or a person, that I am not doing, okay, I'm sort of weak, right, or it's like you know that, that, that, that feeling of and I know cause my mom would say this to me just cause the way we grew up, it's like fight through it, like you can do, you know and then go be the Pinterest mom on top of it.

Speaker 1:

That's what's stressing us out. So what have you found in doing your group and talking to people like the hesitation, maybe, julie, of people talking or coming to the group, or the stigma, or you know, what education have you done around that sort of breaking that stigma? Have you found that's most helpful?

Speaker 2:

I mean, I think you nailed it. I think that is a very, very accurate description of where most people are. I think what is happening, though, is like, maybe because we were told, don't talk about your problems, grin and bear it, we didn't like it. Maybe we're like the change agents is what I hope whereby we're going to be the ones who say to our kids well, a problem shared is a problem halved, or this is health is top to toe proposition. If your arm were injured, you'd go to the doctor. If your feelings are injured or your brain feels maybe not right, maybe a little injured, you're going to go to the doctor.

Speaker 2:

So I would love to think that we can be those people, but I feel like we see the friction of like, I want to talk about things, but talking about things is taboo. And then we also see and it sucks, but we also see and I bet you guys feel this way. Sometimes. It's like you're on the brink of everything you were saying oh, I've got to go throw a Pinterest party, but then I've got to present to a C-level executive and oh, then I have to put, like, some dinner on the table. Thank God we have Alex to help us with that. It's like all this stuff coming at you and you just feel like you're you're kind of tipped. So I think that we, by virtue of seeing the way our parents raised us, the way our what our kids need us to be, and feeling like what we actually want to be truthful and open about, like I think we can push through the stigma.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, sometimes it's that first step or it's. I have talked to friends. They're like, well, it's just one more thing that I have to do. And it's just like, well, this is something that you need to do, but it is. It is hard and then dealing with that grief, like you think you're alone until you really start listening. And that's why I feel like this conversation is so important to be had. I mean, I, I am also a survivor of I'm sorry, I forgot how you said it Uh, like a suicide survivor loss yes so.

Speaker 1:

I lost my brother in 2013, I believe, or 12. And it did. It rocked my world and I had two little ones and I was just like you know what I went through therapy and discovering so much and like learning just how to you know, be in, know what I'm feeling, because I have to teach this to my, to my children, and you know, and and these are teens today, like I I I feel sad for what is happening like between you know, sad for what is happening like between you know, social media and just the state of the world that we're in. It's just so confusing and I feel like I'm at the point with my kids where I can talk about things and they're like mom, do we have to talk about our feelings again? And I'm like, yes, you know, I just like yes, and you say, yes, yeah, I do.

Speaker 2:

And I'm like, yes, come back here sit down.

Speaker 1:

But you know I'm trying to change that landscape and I love what you're doing and I think it's so, so important and I think more conversations need to be had.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and you know what we're finding too is okay. So maybe it's a little too radical to just like get people in a room and expect, within a small community, that people are comfortable sharing, that people feel good about the confidence we try to ensure in our group, the confidentiality that is. We've been feeling like, okay, well, if that's too radical, what more can we do? The other thing, guys, that has become crazy, crazy, crazy apparent due to several things again here in my small town that I do think is representative of rest of world, by the way, but we've had a lot of men, a lot of men struggling and oh yeah, I'm not surprised to hear that. No, because at least we, while we're supposed to be the glue that holds everything together, at least we, I think, are expected to emote Right, wrong or indifferent, like, don't tell me I'm an emotional woman at work, don't do it, because people have done it.

Speaker 2:

That's a topic for another day, but I think men are expected to just really grin and bear it. So we put this together for all the reasons I shared. Where women, it's a peer-to-peer support group of moms for moms. What about the dads, though? So we are trying to broaden stay mom to mom, but broaden the aperture to include the community more. So things that are happening here in my small town we're doing the suicide walk in September that I'm so excited about. I know some really awesome women who are putting it together but certainly it is for the community are putting it together, but certainly it is for the community. I've also met another woman who is bringing the most amazing curriculum to the high school. She took a Yale course on how to be happy and she got them well. They adapted it for teens, and she is spearheading this trial of it at the school, at our local high school. And, like, can I just brag for a second? I'm totally going to get grief for this, but permission, that's a head.

Speaker 1:

Yes, go ahead.

Speaker 2:

Wait, guys get this. So I asked my kids about their days, like every single day. And they're like stop asking me about my day, oh my God. I asked them all the time, Like we're at Nicole I day. Oh my God, I asked them all the time Like we're at Nicole, I'm with you. I'm over-indexing on the talking which they let me know. And then I was in the car with my son on a Saturday. He's like, oh, talking about something totally unrelated. He's like, by the way, I got asked to join the Breathe Out Club. I said what's the Breathe Out Club? Well, really, long story short, at our high school in Hingham they're putting together like a peer-to-peer teen support group.

Speaker 2:

And I guess you have to be picked to lead it, and I was so thrilled. And my son's like it's kind of like mom's mom, but for like teens.

Speaker 1:

That's amazing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that was like a top 10 mom moment, I think.

Speaker 1:

Yes, oh, I love that.

Speaker 2:

So things are shifting and happening is long story made short. Things are shifting and happening.

Speaker 1:

Do you in your groups do you also talk about teens? Cause I was. I was listening to the book the anxious generation. I don't know, it's like a hot book right now, um sort of just about mental health and all the social media and this digital generation. Um, do you guys talk about also the teens and the like in your group too, and what, what people see with their kiddos or you know?

Speaker 2:

Oh, for sure, For sure. Yes, because it's not just. First of all, you can come and say nothing, you can participate and say nothing. You can, you know, talk about you. You can talk about somebody in your world, you can talk about a teen, it's just, it's like whatever goes. So, certainly, moms are definitely trying to help their families too.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and it's never too late, no, and I love what you're saying also I think Nicole said it about sort of that holistic health, or, julie you did from your top down right, this, this movement of you, know you can feel, uh, physically healthy but also mentally healthy, and I think us talking to our kids cause that is definitely a gap I know in my parenting, like my mom was never asking are you okay mentally, right, um, love my mom to death.

Speaker 1:

But it's almost like also this thinking about the holistic health you're saying and then taking a step back before it gets too far, a little bit with moms. Right, you're talking, you both are talking about the feeling of overwhelm, right, it starts there and that's where it snowballs, right, and these the expectations right now on us and it's maybe thinking about changing those expectations of yourself, right, like you throw a birthday party, just for example, it doesn't have to be Pinterest worthy, right, you don't have to go to every event you're invited to. You. You know, all of these things, take a walk, all of these things, starting with sort of that health from a really foundational point, could be the movement to help people too, I mean.

Speaker 2:

Totally and, just being honest, like one of the things that we did in our group is, we decided to make it very casual. First of all, we're so lucky Small plug for my friend, amanda Krigsman. She has founded Krigsman Yoga, which there's one in here in Hingham Mass, there's one in Scituate, and she offers this like really cool accepting space, and so we have it there. Then it was you know, bring a chair or like a beanbag or whatever. I don't know about a beanbag, but like some bolster to sit on.

Speaker 2:

So it was certainly come as you are. It was like stripped down, like minimal makeup wear your sweats, yoga clothes, whether you did it or or not, and we wanted to do that really intentionally. Like most days, I don't put on makeup. I did today because I found out this wasn't just a podcast, it was also like it's a video.

Speaker 2:

So I was 10 minutes late, of course too, because I'm always skidding in sideways, but it was very much like we want people to know we're all skidding in sideways in some capacity and just like bring you, we don't care about the rest. So I think that's really important, just to own it, like I don't have it all together and and so what? Right?

Speaker 1:

And do you feel like that's also one of these benefits of midlife, right? Nicole and I have talked a lot about this on the podcast, julie that you know, in our twenties and thirties, it was almost like we were trying to be that Pinterest worthy mom Maybe I speak for myself, right, I would have never probably said to you, jules, when I met you, I'm feeling this way, right, the only thing people discussed was like postpartum. That was, that was normalized. I feel like that was normalized, you know, 20 years ago when we had our kiddos. But it's, you know, it is just also leaning on each other and knowing that, like reaching out to your friends and I love doing this Tell them that you're there, tell them that you love them, Like we can't do that enough and being honest with ourselves in midlife if we're having a problem, because I think if someone is feeling a certain way to normalize it and to tell someone about it, right, I think that's okay.

Speaker 2:

I feel like that's why I'm fine with midlife. Alex, like I'm like.

Speaker 1:

I know who I am.

Speaker 2:

I'm comfortable with who I am. I like learning. I'm still learning. I've come a long way. I'm proud of the shoes that I walk in and feel, I'm proud of the footsteps I'm leaving and I'm proud of the path ahead, like or I'm excited rather, of the path ahead, like, I'm kind of fine with it. I mean, have I looked better? Yes, have I fit into like a crop top better? Yes, have I, you know X, y, z when I was younger? Like, obviously yes, but I am in a fortunate position. Knock on wood, I have my health, I take care of my mental health, I have a great family, I have wonderful friends, like, what's not to like? I mean, yeah, I have nice sweats. I don't know. I'll take that, I guess, is my point.

Speaker 1:

Right, so it's, it's in this, in this stage of life, being honest with yourself. But being honest, maybe, if you need help with with something with someone else, Right Cause I know for our girls dinners and it dawned on me most recently, and it was honestly from starting this podcast when I'm at girls dinners and I'm like, wow, someone's saying something that they're like struggling with, I'm like, oh my God, me too. Right, it's that like awakening that if you're going through something, someone else that you know well is probably going through the same exact thing, whether it's a thing with yourself, maybe it's your spouse, maybe it's your parents, maybe it's your darn teens, because these teens I mean Julie, you just sent us our group chat, a reel about our teenagers and I was like it is so right on, like literally they get mad about mad at us.

Speaker 1:

If I breathe, I'm like oh geez, what did I do wrong? I chew. My kids are always like when you choose salads, you're so annoying, they either. Yeah. I do is wrong, yeah every little thing I could make like chocolate croissants every morning and they'd be like why did you make chocolate croissants Like?

Speaker 2:

you're so extra. Oh my God, oh my God. It's not that deep Right. Why are we talking too much? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, or it'd be like when you make those croissants. You do this weird thing with your left hand. It's cringy.

Speaker 1:

Thank God we still have our littles. I mean, john Mackey is not like that yet, but he is like teetering, you guys, and I'm like, oh no, put those eyes away, do not roll those eyes at me. Not yet, john. Not yet, John, please. No, we're not ready for you baby. Well, julie, thank you so much for being here. This was really really helpful and bringing this topic to life, which is really important, and I hope our listeners, ladies, talk about it with their friends, talk about it with your kiddos, and I think that's really important.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. Thank you for having me, guys. This was fun.

Speaker 1:

So, nicole, what time is it? It's my favorite time, it is unsolicited advice time, okay, so now we're going to do unsolicited advice, nicole, what is yours? My unsolicited advice is to, after talking about this, and I really think it's important to start with the teens and to really connect. But if you have teens, it's going to be hard just to start this. But if you are able to start before their teens and just talk about, like, how you're feeling, or even like, how are your friends feeling, cause now, my, my kids will talk to me about, um, some of their friends issues and how they can be a good friend to them. Um, my, my oldest had a, a friend in school that recently was um cutting himself and he's like, mom, I just want to be there for him. So it is, it is happening, whether we want to admit it or not, or look at it or we don't know what to do. But we can just start by having conversations with our kids, um, about how they're feeling and when they can connect to what's going on with them, then they can, in turn, be compassionate and empathetic and leave those, those like open lines of communication to you and you can help them in any way possible. And if you don't know how to help them, there are resources out there. Yeah, yeah, nicole, do you feel like it's almost? And Julie, normalizing I was listening to another podcast normalizing feelings in general.

Speaker 1:

Right, like, we always want our kids to be happy, happy, happy. I want my friends to be happy, I want everyone to be happy. But guess what the reality is? Sometimes you're not happy, right, it's not an extreme of being sad. But normalizing our kids are who are going through puberty, I mean us going through perimenopause. We go through a lot of emotions and knowing that that doesn't have to last forever, right. When it continues to last, that's a bigger problem. But if you're feeling sad one day, it's okay, right. Exploring all those emotions and having those and experiencing those will make, I think, our kids better adults. It makes us better adults too. So you're so sweet, nicole. I love that you do that. Your boys are so good. They're lucky to have you. Thank you. I mean, fundamentally, I feel like as long as they feel loved and attached, like that's where happiness truly blossoms. But if you think about it, how many emotions do you have in a day? I mean this podcast. I mean we've had tears, we've laughed.

Speaker 1:

I mean, I don't think that affects um my mood, it's just emotions are fleeting and so yeah you just yeah you just have to know, like you have to teach your kids, that this is this emotion, is not the end all be all. And if you, if you don't talk about things that are bothering you, then it can snowball. But that's not to say like if you don't have a mental health issue on a physiological level, like a serotonin issue, where you actually need medication, which is a whole other issue. But as long as they have that one person to talk to and I'm just talking about teens have that one person to talk to and I'm just talking about teams, I mean, I think in general, if everybody has that one person to talk to.

Speaker 1:

Um, life would just be a little bit easier for some. It'd be good. Jules, I know you gave us lots of advice, but what would you say would be your one bit of advice?

Speaker 2:

Um, okay, I'll give you like a serious and then something more fun. So for the serious one, one of the things we get a lot of is how do I get help, be it for you, someone else, your child? There are not enough healthcare providers. So, college or college or high school age grads, it's grad season. Think about a career in psychology. We need you, we need you, we need, and not only that, but there's more than just psychology, because talk therapy is amazing. There are other things too. What can you do to respect, like, overall general wellness? Could you go to acupuncture school? I don't know, that's an amazing thing to do. There's so many things. Could you run a kid's camp, like? There's so many things out there that I think we as a society need and we're starting to get that. If you don't know where to start, think about your pediatrician or your school counselor. Those have both been great resources around here, because sometimes it's hard to get to the help you need right now. So that would be like my serious advice in terms of my fun advice.

Speaker 2:

Guys, I am not a paid endorser of this product, but I'm also not a gatekeeper. I don't gatekeep. I like to share my good shit. I am taking this sleeping aid that is melatonin, chamomile and vitamins. It's called Friska F-R-I-S-K-A Friska Friska.

Speaker 1:

Are we going to trust this?

Speaker 2:

product Frisky Friska, not frisky. I was at a cheer competition with my daughter and this woman was like I don't know, maybe I looked exhausted or something. She's like try Friska and. I'm like oh, my God whoever that person was, she like flew in on angel wings and gave me this amazing tip Don't take it nightly, but like when I do, oh my God, my sleep scores are bananas. So, knowing you all maybe struggle with the sleep thing.

Speaker 1:

I know our listeners will love it. Friska, friska.

Speaker 2:

We'll put it in the show notes.

Speaker 1:

It's great, we'll put it in the show notes. We'll put it in the show notes, julian, I swear by. Our aura rings Like, literally. That determines my mood. What is my readiness?

Speaker 2:

score what is? My sleep score my sleep score was so bad in Vegas.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I have my sleep score in Vegas was so bad it like ruined my whole day. I was like Alex, this is not okay.

Speaker 2:

You shouldn't take it on vacation, You're not going to Vegas for a sleep score. It was the same when we went to London.

Speaker 1:

I remember that. It's really interesting, though you know you guys gave such good advice, but so I don't have a lot more. But I would say I think I go back to reach out to a friend today. I think that's my big thing is we? You know, if you have a friend that's getting a little bit quiet that you normally hear from, I mean, how many times Nicole and I will text, like if we don't hear from her in a day or she doesn't hear from me, it's like, are you okay? Are you okay? Like, literally, that is only the text. And, um, so if you were big communicators as midlife ladies and just simply sending someone an emoji, right, like, just reach out, make sure someone's okay. I'm a big card writer, um, so it doesn't take a lot to write cards. That's actually how I start my day is I typically will write cards. I save all my cards or things that I'm going to do in the morning, because keeping the postal system you know I go there all the time Um, so just just reach out.

Speaker 1:

I am friends with that when. I moved from Boston. I gave the, I gave the UPS people a present, but anyways, so just think of the way that fits you, whether it's, you know, it could be a real funny reel or it could be something like just let someone know people love to be loved, right, and just let them know that they're loved and tell them.

Speaker 1:

You can't tell people enough that. So so, julie, I have one more question. What if you were talking about? If someone needs help, how can someone find mom to mom reach out to you? Where can? Where can someone if they want to know more about your organization or if they want to start one in their own town, how, how can they find you?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we would love for this to be like an unpaid franchise there's no fee, you guys just stand it up and do your thing locally. You guys just stand it up and do your thing locally. We've kind of made a concerted effort to be a little low profile. I think we're talking around it now. Is it too low profile? But a couple of things that we do have. Number one we have an Instagram page. It's M2M underscore Hingham, that's it. You can ask to follow us. We are also getting more affiliated with the Hingham Anchor, so that's like a hyperlocal website. That's our town news and we've put some content there. We're talking to them about putting more content out, but that's really it. We do try to keep you know a little bit discreet, just given the topics. We do try to keep you know a little bit discreet, just given the topics. But if anybody has questions, you can contact us through um, through Instagram, for sure.

Speaker 1:

Okay, perfect, and if someone can't find it, reach out to Nicole or I and we will point you in that right direction, for sure. But um all right.

Speaker 1:

Thanks, jules, thanks Nicole, love you guys. Bye, jules, thanks Nicole, love you guys. And that's a wrap for today's episode of don't call me midlife. We hope you had as much fun as we did. Absolutely, your support means the world to us. If you're just waiting in the carpool line, don't forget to follow the show, and if you're feeling extra spicy today, leave us a rating and review Before we part ways. We've got a special invitation for you Join our newsletter to stay in the loop with all things midlife, magic, bonus content and more. Head on over to the show notes for how to sign up. We can't wait to keep the conversation going. And, of course, remember, in the whirlwind of life and motherhood, don't forget to fill up your own cup first. You're extraordinary and your journey is worth every moment. Until next time, cheers.