Don't Call Me Midlife

Work+Life Harmony with Megan Sumrell [Modern Mom Date]

May 09, 2024 • Alix Mackey & Nicole Stassinopoulos • Episode 31

Share episode

In this episode of 'Don't Call Me Midlife,' Alix and Nicole welcome Megan Sumrell, CEO and Founder of The Pink Bee and time management expert, who joins them to unravel the secrets of reclaiming joy and harmony in the often turbulent seas of midlife. As we delve into the heartfelt narrative behind her brand, Megan enriches our discussion with a wealth of productivity pointers, savvy scheduling techniques, and explains why routines could be your golden ticket to a serene mind.

In this episode, we talk about the following:
1. Time management and work+life harmony.
2. Challenges women face in prioritizing their own happiness.
3. The difference between balance and harmony.

Sign up for Master Your Morning:
https://www.megansumrell.com/masteryourmorning

You can connect with Megan on:
Website www.thepinkbee.co
Instagram @megansumrell
Facebook Megan Sumrell
LinkedIn Megan Sumrell


Join the Midlife Squad:
Want to stay up to date on the Don't Call Me Midlife podcast and community? Click below so we can keep you in the know!
www.itstradish.myflodesk.com/dontcallmemidlife

Hang Out on Social:
Follow Alix on Instagram @everydaywithalix
Follow Nicole on Instagram @touch_of_stass

______________________________________________________________

Help us expand our mom-tourage! Share our podcast with your fellow mom friends and let's conquer midlife together.

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Don't Call Me Midlife podcast.

Speaker 2:

I'm Nicole and I'm Alex, we're your coffee-addicted, wine-loving, amazon-obsessed mom squad.

Speaker 1:

Think of us as your new besties, but with a podcast. And just like you, we're navigating the Google-defined chaos of midlife while wrangling a pack of boys. But here's the twist.

Speaker 2:

We're more than just moms and wives. We're on a mission to reclaim our identities beyond motherhood and we're bringing you along for the wild ride.

Speaker 1:

Now, we don't pretend to have all the answers to life's mysteries, but we're so good at learning and laughing our way through them.

Speaker 2:

So, whether you're sipping, from your trusty Stanley, indulging in an oat milk latte from Starbucks or raising a glass of Whispering Angel.

Speaker 1:

get ready to hang with us Together we'll keep it real, have some laughs and remind you that this crazy journey called life is one adventure worth sharing. Okay, listen up. This is going to be the podcast of all podcasts. We are talking with Megan Sumrall. She is a time management expert, she's the founder of the Pink Bee and she tells a story of how she came up with her name and is absolutely incredible and every woman needs to hear this.

Speaker 2:

Okay, we love Megan. We were fan obsessing with her, but what you need to do is you need to go get your notebooks, go get a pen, because you are going to get so many tips on productivity, on your schedule, on finding joy in your life too. And there were some tears, so listen to this episode. I even cried. You're not going to want to miss this one. So listen up, ladies. This is one to listen to one to listen to.

Speaker 1:

Hi everybody, I'm so excited. Hi Nicole, hey, megan, hello, all right, I have been looking forward to this interview for two years and I didn't even know it.

Speaker 1:

Before we started the podcast Nicole, that's impressive. Yes, because I have been obsessed with Megan for two years. Um, so I can't wait for everyone, if you don't know Megan, for you to get to know her, and if you do know her, get to know her a little bit more. So, um, let's, I'm just going to just jump in with our usual segment what's in your cup, alex, alex, what's in your cup, my girl?

Speaker 2:

Um, well, I have coffee, cause I love coffee any time of day, and I recently set up a little coffee bar in my office and I have pumps of sugar-free caramel syrup, sugar-free vanilla. I have some collagen and some nut pods in my fridge here, cause I have a fridge meal prep fridge in my office. Um, and so I made myself a special coffee treat with, um, all my syrups and my coffee bar. So it's fun. My husband's not allowed to use it, it's just for me. I love it. So that is exciting. What is what's in your cup?

Speaker 1:

Um, well, I'm Well. My cup is excitement. It's just water. I'm just excited. I've got notepads and pencils. I'm going to take all the notes. So yeah, that's what's in my cup. How about you, megan?

Speaker 3:

My cup at the moment has water in it, but I just started introducing something to my water, but in the evenings, only that a friend gave me that's life-changing, and it's this dropper I put in that has magnesium but a vanilla taste to it, and it's like the perfect end of my day before I jump into bed. So I'm looking forward to that getting in my cup again soon.

Speaker 2:

I love that Is it is it is it in hot tea or is it just cold water? You?

Speaker 3:

can put it in hot tea, you can put it in water. I like it just in plain water. I'm not a big hot tea drinker and I've just got it three days ago, so I've had it for the last three nights and I it totally relaxes me before bed and I love it.

Speaker 2:

I love that. We've tried lots of magnesium things. You know, have you guys? Seen that tart cherry juice mocktail at night. I haven't tried that. That's sort of a lot of sugar for me at night, but I do take magnesium pills. This is no sugar, no additives.

Speaker 3:

It just comes like a little vial with a dropper thing, and I take a magnesium supplement, which is a great conversation for midlife. But this is just something a little extra and it's. I love it. It's delicious and great.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh, you're going to have to tell us so we can put our show notes. Yeah, I'll have to find the exact product and send it to you guys.

Speaker 2:

We'll link that, you know. The other thing that I think I just started doing is putting magnesium lotion on my feet and it works. You guys, I did that for my kids too, and I was like massaging their feet. You know, they're older but they actually don't tell anyone they really liked it. Um, especially my middle one, Cause he likes a massage, but it smells like lavender. And I got it from my son in boarding school Cause he says he's having trouble falling asleep.

Speaker 3:

So it just smells for my daughter. She has a lot of sleep issues. I love that.

Speaker 2:

Okay, okay.

Speaker 3:

Is that the one that?

Speaker 2:

Gina told you about, or is this a different one. Yes, one of our friends told us about it, but I did buy one off Amazon that comes in a day too that I gave to Baker as well. So there's a couple out there, but it's nice and relaxing. We love nighttime routines in midlife Um especially midlife.

Speaker 1:

Okay, speaking of midlife, megan, how do you feel about the term midlife? It's funny Cause, right?

Speaker 3:

before this. It's like oh, I guess that's me Right. And it's um, I have a. I feel like I have a very healthy relationship with my age. I'm 50. I'll be 51 this year and I rolled into my 50th like hell, yeah, let's do this, and I put a lot of thought and intentionality around it. But the term midlife I'm still like, no, that's not me, because in my mind I'm just not there yet, so I don't know. It makes me chuckle a little bit.

Speaker 1:

I'm just not there yet, so I don't know, it makes me chuckle a little bit. Yes, I love this season, but the terminology.

Speaker 3:

I mean, I feel like Alex and I talk about finding a better word and like branding it, and I feel like this stage of life, for women in particular, is tremendously underserved, is tremendously underserved, um, whether it's, you know, health, whether it's nutrition, whether it's having honest conversations about menopause, whether it's discussing the realities of everything we're juggling in our lives and the expectations put on us, um, I just think it's a tremendously underserved community at large.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I do feel like our generation is is doing more to bring awareness to it. I don't know, I'm just I'm seeing a lot more. I'm sure the Instagram algorithm is targeting me, but I do feel that there's more about nutrition coming out with. You know, some of these health coaches and doctors are talking about it more.

Speaker 3:

Yes, yes, so I'm glad to see that it's shifting some, but, man, I think we have a long way to go.

Speaker 2:

Oh, yes, I agree.

Speaker 3:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

I agree and I think it's. You know, I think we used to be chalked up to sort of the norm of the way that we feel and now we're just not taking that for an answer Right now. We're just not taking that for an answer, right? I know I go to doctors and I'm like, no, that's not okay. I know that's not okay. So I know there's something else I can do and we love what you're doing in this space, thank you.

Speaker 2:

You are a, amongst many things, a time management expert, but you know, we've listened to lots of your podcasts, but on your Instagram and changing the landscape of how people like you're saying hashtag, do all the things right, how do we manage it? You, my perspective is, you give us hope that you can, you know, be that mom. You know work inside or outside the home, you can do things that are fun and have that time, cause I think it's also and it's into our health A lot of things that we're just are in past generations. That's just the way that it is. Is that, mom, should be stressed? We need to be checking things off the to-do list. That equals success.

Speaker 2:

I know that's the way that I have been when I was a little younger, so I love the work that you're doing. I think the work you're doing is making a difference, and Nicole and I literally stalk your Instagram because we're like help us, and so can you tell a little story of you know, the story of how you started, how you you know, I know you do. You have one child. I do.

Speaker 3:

I have a 13 year old Um, and you know I never my my third grader, megan, was not answering the questions. What do you want to be when you grew up? By going, I want to be a time management expert. Like no that never rolled off my tongue.

Speaker 3:

This was not something I like intentionally thought out.

Speaker 3:

I think for so many people in the service-based industry, this work started as a need for a problem I had and thankfully was able to position it in a way to help now tens of thousands of other women.

Speaker 3:

So I spent over 20 years in the corporate space working in the IT world across a lot of different domains, but a lot of them very, very masculine the kind of e-commerce world was very masculine and my last seven years in the corporate space was in aviation. So you know, often I was one of maybe two women in the room and I went through. As part of what I did for a living was to go into organizations, software teams and redo everything that they did, all of their systems and processes, so that they could get their product out the door better, faster, cheaper their systems and processes so that they could get their product out the door better, faster, cheaper. So I went through tons of trainings and certifications all around process improvement, eliminating waste, how do we run projects better. So I actually have a bunch of really nerdy certifications at the end of my name that if you're in a room full of nerds they get it.

Speaker 3:

But the rest of the world is like I don't know what that means and all of the trainings that I took back then for planning and managing my time worked great because I was a single woman. It was just me. Eventually I had a dog and I got married later in life and started a family in my late thirties and had a very pivotal day when my daughter was about two ish or so and I was pushing her on the swings and I was still working corporate and juggling motherhood and the mother next to me just very. The conversation kind of turned and she very innocently just said so like what do you do for fun? And I said nothing. I literally was racking my brain and I couldn't come up with anything that just me did for fun. And I would love to meet this woman and thank her because she started me on this trajectory.

Speaker 3:

But I do remember going home that night and kind of having a complete breakdown after I got, you know, just getting through the motions, get the kid to bed, like all of that, and just feel I had a moment of just sobbing in my closet because I was grieving the loss of who I'd been. I just took like a picture of my life and I'm like what the hell is this? All I do all day in. My goal every day is to get everything on the list done, and everything on the list was in service to work or my family. Nothing on the list was ever in service to me. And on the outside, looking in, I looked super productive because I was, because I got a lot of things done. But on the inside I felt awful because I was exhausted. I really didn't even know who I was anymore. And then, of course, as women do, I felt tremendously guilty for feeling this way.

Speaker 3:

Megan, you should be so happy. You have a nice home, you have a nice job, you have this family like you, have nothing to be upset about, right, and thankfully it hit me a few hours later. Hey, this is kind of what you do for a living. You go into organizations where stuff's getting done but it's not being done well, and you and you figure out a better way to do it. So I was like what if, megan? What if you took everything that you've learned and applied it to your life as a project to see? Is there a better way to handle all the things competing for my time and produce a life that I'm happy with? That? I can answer the question what do you do for fun. So that kind of set me out on this course to create what is now called the top framework, with top stands for time management, organization and productivity, and I really built it for myself. People started noticing a difference in me. They're like hi, are you going to a new gym? I'm like no, I'm just happy and I'm well rested and fulfilled.

Speaker 1:

Classic classic right, I'm just happy.

Speaker 3:

Right, that's what I was doing. Did you lose some weight? No, no, I'm just happy. And so a couple of women that I know from a a in a local group had asked her like would you teach us what you're doing? I was like, well, like I don't know, can I teach this? So I agreed to work with them if they gave me honest feedback.

Speaker 3:

So I'm like I'm not guaranteeing you that this is going to work. I think it can, and so, after working with them and seeing the transformation they had, I was like this is it, this? This is my calling and this is my passion, and so now this is what I do. I'm on a mission to bring work-life harmony into homes everywhere through very pragmatic, very simple but very powerful step-by-step systems to help you plan and manage your time, but in a way that's unique to each individual woman out there, because men and women are different, and how we need to plan and manage our time needs to be different, because we are handling things that men typically don't handle, and, sadly, most of the people teaching in this space are men, and so it's no wonder why there's a constant disconnect and why the systems that worked for me when I was in a very masculine role worked great until suddenly I wasn't in that role anymore.

Speaker 2:

So who? So? I love how you just own. You know this space right Be really. You know niche down into who it is. So who, for your system, is your, your ideal client? Is it just people that own their own business? Could they be a mom?

Speaker 3:

Could they Not at all, and it's so funny because you know if you're, if you run your own business, one of the first things coaches always tell you like you got a niche way down right. Yeah, and I kept going. But no, and I'm always someone where, the minute someone tells me how it has to be done, I'm like no thanks. I serve women that feel overwhelmed. That's the bottom line. I have women in my program who are in their twenties and single and juggling a corporate career and like going. Oh my gosh, I've never had to do all of this before to there's been an influx of women in their 80s, which I love going.

Speaker 2:

I'm in my second thing in life and I don't want to waste any minute of it, like how cool is that?

Speaker 3:

And I attract a lot of women who are in that stage of what I call you're in the trenches, right A lot of moms where we're juggling multiple calendars. Some are full-time at home with their kids, some are running businesses, like I am, some are still, you know, going into a W-2 job and coming home. But the common thread we all have is well, I don't anymore. I mean my days, don't get me wrong this feeling of I feel like my whole life's purpose is just to try and get all the things on my list done and I'm tapped out and I don't see an end in sight.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I remember those days.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I wish I'd found you like 20 years ago. There's so much noise in this space, right, and you can look on Amazon, you can look on Pinterest, you can look on Instagram, but I love your advice because it is practical and the fact that you're giving women the tools to build their own system, right, there's so many systems out there that are. You have to do this. You need to time block, you need to wake up at 4 am.

Speaker 2:

You know all this stuff where you're empowering women in a special way that they have to build a system. I know Nicole and I have tried lots of sort of scheduling tricks and tips and it's taken me a year to figure out what works for me and what works for you today isn't going to work for you, probably a couple of years from now. Well, don't tell me that.

Speaker 3:

No, but it's okay, but it's okay, and that's what makes my approach to teaching this.

Speaker 3:

What I tell everyone is the framework is the same, like the processes that I'm going to teach are the same for everybody, but what gets to be completely different is your inputs right, meaning what are the things competing for your time and what are the realities of your life in this moment. So, like, everything competing for my time and the day-to-day reality of what I'm living in is very different from both of you, and you're all just different from each other. Now we can all use the same framework, but because our inputs are different, what we create on the backend meaning what our calendar is going to look like and what our plans are going to look like are also going to be completely different because our inputs are different. And so what I love about this top framework is, when you learn the framework, you get to use it forever because it's just your inputs that are changing. So, therefore, your output changes.

Speaker 3:

What my plans for my week look like right now look very different than they did even four months ago, because four months ago, I still had my daughter at home for school and we just put her back into a actual physical school in January of this year. So even just looking from at the end of last year to the beginning of this year, my inputs are very different because we have new demands with drive times and school schedules and all of that that we didn't have before. But I'm using the exact same planning system then as I am now, just my inputs and outputs look different.

Speaker 1:

So is your program ongoing. Do you have like start dates? Is it a membership?

Speaker 3:

It is available all the time. Because, again, the last thing I want to do is, number one prevent when you can and can't get help managing your time. And then, number two go, oh, and you have four weeks to learn it. Like, oh great, let me add some more overwhelm to your plate, cause you're not stressed out enough already. So the program is structured as a DIY, where all the training is done pre-recorded, very short videos, because, again, there's nothing worse than purchasing a program and you open up the first video and you see it's like 73 minutes long.

Speaker 3:

It's like, oh, my God, I don't, like I'm never really able to start this thing Right. So when you invest in the program, you have it for the rest of your life. There's no time limits to when you want to do it. Also, because sometimes I'll have women who reach out to me now and they're like okay, I first went through the program three years ago, just had a huge life change, and so I just went back through it again and I got so much more out of it the second time. Because you know like you have to hear things a lot, like, once you've asked for something, then you have space to hear more and more, and then I do monthly. Once a month I come on and do live Q&A. That's open to anyone and everyone who's ever been through the program, because I want this to be something that you get to lean on and continue to use and get refreshers in ways that serve you.

Speaker 2:

When you have your clients? Do you find that one of the biggest challenges and this is from speaking personally is that change of mindset, of focusing on what's important, like you talked about fun in the beginning, right, fun used to not be built into my schedule. I had a similar situation as yours, except someone called it joy. How do you get joy? And I was sitting there thinking I have no idea. I called my best friend, was like how do you get joy? And she's like I have no idea. I called my best friend, was like how do you get joy? And she's like I don't know. So I have found, like, prioritizing that fun, that joy, but also your responsibilities. Is that balance or the harmony I love the word that you use, harmony and so what is? What is the biggest challenge or the biggest complaint? I guess you know that people are having coming into your program.

Speaker 3:

I'll tell you it breaks my heart because I have a systematic way of teaching how you get the time back in your calendar for it. It's actually step three. It's that far up at the top of the weekly plan. We don't take the leftovers, we don't take the sloppy seconds, we're actually prioritizing it, and you would think that would be the problem that people would have. It's like oh, I feel bad doing it. The problem women are coming to me with sorry is they come to me and say I'm having a hard time thinking of anything. They're so far removed from the last time they did anything for fun that when I ask them, what do you want to do for fun? That's the hardest part they're having is reconnecting back with themselves from when they had it. And once we figure out what that is or they figure it, I kind of help them figure out what that is for them. That that's the hardest part. Once we know what it is, prioritizing the time for it now is the easy part.

Speaker 2:

Wow. So people are just sort of going through the motions, especially in midlife, right. I think of even having, you know, a date night with my husband, right? It's just like we're too busy. We're so tuned to say we're too busy. We're we're so tuned to say we're too busy. Sorry, I can't do that.

Speaker 3:

I can't, you know um and you know there's the guilt around it too, um, especially if it involves money. Well, if I spend money on that, then I can't spend it on my kids. And I have a girlfriend right now that there's something that she would very much benefit her life greatly and she's like, oh, it's just not in the budget. And I challenged her and I said if your child came to you right now with something that was going to be, you know, $200 a month that you knew would be life-changing for them, I bet my bottom dollar you and your husband would find a way to make that work Right, but you're not willing to do it for yourself because you aren't valuing your happiness as much as you are providing happiness for others. And so I think a lot of times women have a hard time with that as well. So that's why I always try and look for let's find the things that are free first. And it was interesting because when I was first reconnecting with okay, what am I going to do for fun? I was kind of like I don't know.

Speaker 3:

I went back to life before marriage, before kids, before any other responsibility other than myself and my job, and I was like, okay, megan, what did you used to do. I was like, oh my, it just started flowing. I was like, oh well, I used to go on. I was like, oh my, like it just started flowing. I was like, oh well, I used to go on. You know, hikes, and I did a ton of baking. I used to make wedding cakes and decorative cookies. Um, all these reading that I used to do and I so I made this whole list and then I went and looked at it. I was like, okay, you know, travel was in there. So I'm like back when, but now that it's like part of day-to-day life, I'm like, well, I really don't want to bring that back into my life anymore. Last thing I want is more time in the kitchen.

Speaker 3:

But it started very small of. I love like CIA type books, like all the David Baldacci series and stuff, and I realized I think I had gone for at least five years where the only book I had read was a parenting book or work-related book. Yes, so I was like I can start there. I can start there and say when I get into bed at night, for 10 minutes, I'm reading a book that does nothing but just bring me joy and make me feel good Instead of learning something and bettering myself and being a better mom and being a better employee, being a business owner, and so it can start as small as that. And even just that first week of reading for 10 minutes the book for sheer pleasure it was, it was like a life changing way to start stepping back into that. Yeah, wow, and my parenting didn't suffer because I didn't read the latest parenting book for an additional 10 minutes that day.

Speaker 2:

Right, Right, nicole, and I know all about that. We are. We are book collectors. We like to collect a lot of self-help books. I recently bought some, some fun books. But but you know, I think also as women and I don't know if you find this too we define our happiness by others happiness and doing health coaching.

Speaker 2:

I found that a lot. You know, I had to really have a hard talk with a lot of people. Well, what makes you happy? Well, if my kids are happy and I do this for them and I'm like, no, no, no, not your kids, not your husband, not your spouse, not your friend, what makes you happy? And I don't know why we are in this society of, why is that so hard to do? Right, and it's not selfish, right?

Speaker 3:

You reading for 10 minutes a night should be the norm, it shouldn't be the exception, right, and this is why, like when I go out on social media, you see so many of these, you know women's retreats or girls weekends that are so elaborate and so enormous, because that's almost what it takes for someone like they finally just get to a breaking point.

Speaker 3:

And I can remember back when I was in the trenches, before planning and managing my life the way I do right now once a year I would go out for a weekend with my sisters and I would literally be sobbing in my car as I was finally leaving for it.

Speaker 3:

It was almost this release of responsibility and this and that and the other, and you don't see this talk about guys weekends and guys whatever, because they're doing it on the regular, they're prioritizing time for themselves, they're doing, they're not starved for this need to reconnect with themselves the way that women are.

Speaker 3:

And I think if we build it in now, it's not like I'm just counting down for 11 months till I can go do this thing again, and we still do it every year, but now it's just part of everyday life and I'm not. I'm not heading to something that I've starved myself of for the last 12 months to finally have it again. And when I see all these women, just you know, desperate for time to connect it. It has to be these huge big trips, I'm like. To me, that's just a sign of people who aren't getting enough of it in their day to day. Not that you shouldn't have the big swanky trip, but are you rolling into it tapped out and you're using this to fill back up, or are you rolling into this already full and this is just like a cherry on top of the Sunday right?

Speaker 2:

There was once a quote I read. That was you know, live your life like. I can't remember, but it wasn't. It was like that you don't need a vacation, like sort of what you're saying, right, like you don't go into these weekends like I'm going to, you know, just go balls to the wall, I actually can enjoy it, right. And so bringing some of that into your daily life and, like you're saying, into your daily schedule, being productive, doing what you care about, doing what matters in addition to all our responsibilities I know you teach that too, but that's really the foundation of living that life in harmony, as you're talking about. Is that right?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, a hundred percent.

Speaker 1:

Is that where the term harmony came from? Versus work-life balance?

Speaker 3:

I was a math major so I geek out on like mathy type analogies. I was a math major, so I geek out on like mathy type analogies. When you think about balance, there's like two good analogies that I like to use. One is, and you'll see it, even in pictures. They'll show, like the old school balance weight things, where they have the two jars or plates on either side.

Speaker 3:

Well, in order for it to be balanced, everything has to be equal. And when we're thinking about balance, we're thinking everything equally. So, whether we realize it or not, especially for moms, it's like okay, well, if I give myself 15 minutes, and that means I have to do 15 minutes for this person, this person, this person, this role, this role, this role. And we're looking at our life day to day because, sadly, that's what productivity experts are teaching us to do is to do your brain dump for the day, and we're seeing that. Well, in order to balance it, I have to serve all the roles in my life equally and that's the key to success. And another way to think about balance my little thingies are happening and this occurred to me when I was with my daughter's gymnastic lesson back when she was really little, little, and they were trying to working with the young girls going across the balance beam. So those things are tiny, right Four inches wide, and they were just just learning how to just walk across it, and listening to the coach coach them through what they had to do to stay balanced was exhausting. To stay balanced was exhausting. Shoulders, back, head up, tuck your bottom in. What are your legs doing? Keep your arms, even. Keep your head up. No, don't look down. What are your toes doing? And in order to stay balanced, literally every muscle down. These little bodies have to be engaged and working exactly right or you fall off the beat. And this is what, whether we realize it or not, so much of what people are teaching. When it comes to work-life balance, it's like this complex mathematical algorithm that we have to solve in order for everything to be equally. I'm like this is no, and that's what I was doing when I couldn't answer the question what do I do for fun? Right, I was just balancing. And I couldn't answer the question what do I do for fun? Right, I was just balancing keeping my family alive and keeping myself employed, whereas if we think about the term harmony instead, I always like to think I was a music minor, so I love music.

Speaker 3:

If you think about a band or an orchestra playing, if you look at all the musicians on the stage, they're not balancing anything. They are not all getting equal play time. They're not all playing at equal intervals, right? Sometimes it's the this is the soloist, some things, the drummer never even plays, or whatever. But what they produce collectively is beautiful harmony. I was like that's what I want. I want to have all the musicians on my stage and my mental brain and in my life producing something absolutely beautiful. And it might mean that certain days or weeks or months, one part of my life is getting a lot of focus and another isn't, and that's okay, because it's all tying together for the ultimate piece of music that I'm creating at the end, which is my life. And so I think, when we can think of it that way, it just gives us so much more permission to say this isn't a math equation I'm trying to solve. Everything doesn't need to be equal. I get to create what's going to be really beautifully harmonious for me.

Speaker 2:

I love that. It's like you can't hold all the balls in the air.

Speaker 3:

You know, I've heard that before, right they're all going to fall Like the spinning of the plates.

Speaker 2:

Right, and that's why I love, like you know, looking at the system, you know, maybe on a weekly basis, sometimes even you know a daily basis, because things happen is you can't have your family, your work life balance. You know all these things always. Sometimes you know you've got to, you've got to pivot. That's one of my questions is you know we're not going to share what your?

Speaker 3:

system is right, but this will be the longest one. We people can.

Speaker 2:

people can find you. But my question is, if you have your system right that works for you and there's a time and a place, I feel less stressed when I know there's a time and a place to do things for me. That's sort of my little internal system. I'm not worrying about the checklist every day. What's your advice if you know you have to pivot? Right, you get that phone call saying your kid's sick when you've got a meeting or you know all those things sort of happen.

Speaker 3:

That never happens. See, I create a plan on Sunday, exactly as I planned it every time.

Speaker 2:

Exactly yes.

Speaker 3:

Yes. So this is what I call planning for uncertainty, and it's actually part of the planning process that I do. So everybody out there man, woman, age, doesn't matter we all have some level of uncertainty in our lives, and it changes in different seasons, right? So when my daughter was in preschool, my level of uncertainty was very high, meaning I had lots of curve balls coming at me during the week. I had lots of times I needed to pivot. I am currently fingers crossed, seem to be in a stage with much less uncertainty right now, subject to change at any given time.

Speaker 3:

So I teach people how to figure out what is their unique amount of uncertainty that they have, because half the time, we're not even aware of how much it is. Because what do we all say Next week will be different? Oh, this. What do we all say Next week will be different? Oh, this was just a doozy. Next week will be different. Or, if I can just get through this month, next month will be different. Chances are, the data's telling you. It ain't going to be any different, right? So, instead of pretending it is, let's understand how much of our time each week has to be spent on things that we don't even know are coming. Yet when we know this, we actually get to plug that piece of information in to our weekly plan so we can do what I call absorb them very easily.

Speaker 3:

So for me, right now I'm in a season of life that during my work days, like I and I don't work that much, um, but Monday I've kind of worked with my daughters at school, but even then I don't even use all that time for work. But I know I'm going to have somewhere between three and four hours of things that are going to come up each week for the business that I don't know about when I sit down at the start of the week. So I actually build in four hours into my weekly plan for work of the. I don't know what it's going to be, but something's coming. Then if, if one of those pockets of time comes up and I'm like, hey, nothing's hit me yet, well, now I get to swap it out with something else on my calendar. So I get to say I have a feeling it's still coming. So I'm actually gonna do that thing I wasn't planning on doing till Thursday, right now, because I can, but I'm gonna. So I'm basically swapping those two little things on my calendar.

Speaker 3:

But if we don't know how much uncertainty we have in our life, we're going to continue to plan for perfection, meaning complete control of my calendar. Nothing's going to interrupt me. Everything's going to take exactly as long as I think it is. I'm a you know, nobody's a perfect estimator. Nobody has a life without interruptions and distractions. So when we learn what it is and we planned for it now, we're not getting overbooked, we're not getting over scheduled. And when you get that phone call that cause yesterday I got the phone call yesterday your daughter's not feeling well, can you please come pick her up early? Well, if I had had everything planned, it would have been disastrous, right, the domino effect. I would have been staying up late or getting up early, but I was able to go. Huh, not what I was planning to do right now. Fine, I'm going to be able to go get her, and what I was going to be doing during that time is now moved. I actually haven't moved to Friday morning.

Speaker 1:

So again, I think you just changed Alex's life.

Speaker 2:

I'm like I'm literally like taking notes. I can see her, like her facial expressions. I'm like I'm like, literally, you just changed my life, because I think part of how my journey has taken so long with me is being realistic about your time, right, and I think it's like that's one of the nine components in the program is realistic and we have to be you have to be realistic, cause I was sort of that person that's like, yeah, I can write that text in 10 minutes.

Speaker 2:

Well, I, just before our podcast was writing, I'm doing a challenge, wrote three texts. It took me an hour and a half, right, so it's just being more realistic about actually how long things takes me.

Speaker 3:

And that's where we start the program with a time audit. It's not to make you feel bad about how you're spending your time, but it's how you learn. How much time do these do things really take, so that instead of me, I mean, I would every week say, oh, the emails I need to write for the week, I'll knock those out in 10 minutes. That's what my gut tells me every single week. And for four years, the data tells me you need an hour.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, oh my gosh, I'm like oh, no because I have it written down one hour, Megan. But until we learn how to capture that and then where to store that information, we're going to continue to just always plan unrealistically.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I do that with time travel. It's like when I had a paper calendar I would just think I would be like George Jetson and just like transport myself places Like I was not allowing and my friends joke because I'm always late. I'm like I'm just a really efficient person, but what I found myself doing is that I was not allowing for the travel time to get to the place Not even the transition time.

Speaker 3:

Picking my daughter up from school is about like a round trip to school is about 55 minutes. But on my calendar every afternoon for school pickup I have two hours blocked for that, two hours for the 55 minute round trip. Because there's the. I might like to go to the bathroom and stretch my legs and have a hot minute before I get in the car, right? Not jump from a call and hop into my car. Then there's also the. I need to get there a little early, like I'm not there. The second she's walking out, we're getting in the car and driving Right, um, and then sometimes there's traffic on the way home and then there's the. We walk in the door and it's the. Okay, you know the. Oh, by the way, mom, I need to have the school project tomorrow or this or that, and it's kind of the unpacking and unsettling of the day. But most people would only block in that one hour instead of unblocking out the full two.

Speaker 2:

Wow, this is this is.

Speaker 1:

This is so. There's a lot of math involved in what you do.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, people get part of that. We're talking second grade math here. Yeah, basic addition and subtraction. That is all that is required of you Basic addition and subtraction.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, no, no, I'm not scared, it's just like when I listen to you and your analogies, there's a lot of no, no, no. How many hours are in your day? So when you have your clients who are actually, you know, business owners right, they're entrepreneurs Do you? What is your advice or what do you say for do you build your life around your business or your business around your life? Cause that's something that I know. I go back and forth with a lot and I'm just wondering what are your thoughts on that?

Speaker 3:

Neither. They're built together oh okay, they're fully Alex and I are joining the TAP program today.

Speaker 3:

I get this question all the time because one of the first things we do in the program that I teach people to do is to create their list of things competing for their time. Right, and they're always so if they're a business or like do I keep a list for my business over here and keep a list for personal over here? And for for true solopreneurs like I, you know, I I I get to decide how much I work each day, Right? I'm not a W2 employee2 employee where someone owns me for eight hours a day. So for people where you truly own your time, I tell them you don't separate those two.

Speaker 3:

The bottom line is I have personal stuff and work stuff competing for my time every day, every week, every month.

Speaker 3:

So I have to prioritize them together because there may be a week where there's something going on personal wise, which means personal is getting a lot more of my attention than work, and vice versa. And so when we try and, as as women entrepreneurs, trying to particularly if you're a mompreneur trying to separate those two gets people hung up so much because they think they need to build consistent routines and consistent schedules in their calendar in order for it to work, and the reality is, for most of us that's just not possible, because this is the week of a half day, this is a week of a teacher work day oh, we've got spring break, right. Every week is so different. So for me it's not which do I plan with the other, it's just I'm planning my life, I'm planning the way I want to live and the way I want to spend my time, and so those two are always tasks for work, and tasks for personal and for family and for fun are always being weighed against each other.

Speaker 2:

I love how you worded that I call it integrated planning.

Speaker 3:

We're integrating all parts of our life into the plans that we are making.

Speaker 2:

That sounds nice. What do you think about also boundaries when you work with your clients? I know in order to be efficient, I've had to set some boundaries a little bit and I'm speaking like in terms of my phone, right, because that can be such a distraction of your notifications or someone calls you, and that's always been really hard for me lately because I'm always nailing it.

Speaker 3:

That is another one of the nine components. I think I should take your program.

Speaker 2:

I'm the ideal client because, you know, I've had to do things like someone I was. I was writing my challenge this morning and someone called me. Normally I would answer that, right, it's one of my close friends, but I didn't because I was so focused on what I was doing. Sometimes I personally have to put my phone in a different room, but it's like there'll be times where and I feel guilty doing that, but setting up those times where I can talk to that person later, because then what's going to take me an hour and a half is gonna take me three hours, and then I'm going to be. You know, it's just, I think, setting these boundaries, especially around now social media or you know your phone.

Speaker 3:

I do a whole um. I have an app in the app store. It's called the pink beats and both Google play in the app store and in it I have a whole little mini course on how to set up your mobile devices to minimize distractions, basically how to create boundaries in there. Um cause, what I like to tell people is you can actually set up your phone. Our phones are smart enough now that you can basically program your phone so it only talks to you in a situation where you've deemed it important enough to interrupt what you're doing.

Speaker 3:

Oh wow, so my phone can be here on my desk all the time because it is not going to make a noise at all unless the school is calling me noise at all, unless the school is calling me.

Speaker 3:

My parents, my husband or my sister or my daughter Now, they also all know. Hey, if there's just something, if you just want to chat or something like that, shoot me a text, because it's not good, my phone's not going to make a noise. But if you need me call, because if I hear my phone ring, my phone is telling me something very important needs your attention right now and you've decided it's worth interrupting you so I could be getting phone calls while I'm sitting, like right now. I don't know, someone may have called me, but I know it wasn't something that would have been important enough for me to go hang on, I have to take this. It's an emergency, so we get to decide what boundaries we want with all of our technology, because they're smart enough and they have the ability for us to program those in there and I actually give tips on what apps belong on your home screen and which ones don't, to help reduce distractions and help you set healthier boundaries with what you want that experience to be like.

Speaker 3:

So yeah, I mean boundaries is huge, and one of the first things that I teach when you go through the training on boundaries is we have to understand what kind of a person we are when it comes to boundaries, because there's yes, people, there's no people, and usually we're all. And then there's the, the conductor people, the ones who don't own everybody else's boundaries for them, and usually most of us are a mixture of all of them, but just in different phases of our life. So, yeah, it's a critical part of learning how to control our time and calendar.

Speaker 2:

I even think that the system for the phone would work for our kids, because I was just talking to my two teenagers about he puts his phone. My oldest, who's in boarding school, puts his phone on silent and you know I have to call him twice. I'm like you know you can put a special. I have a special ringer for my mom and it's really funny. But you know, I was like you know you can put your parents if we need to call you, you can just allow us. So I think I think that would be helpful for us in midlife all these tech tricks even to use on our kids with phones too, and teach them the proper way of setting those boundaries. Now, cause, when I told my kids, I said you know, you don't, I turned my notifications off. I don't know if someone DMs me on Instagram or like something, and they're like. They looked at me like I was a crazy person. They're like you have no notifications and I see their phone buzzing all the time you know, and so I think dopamine hit

Speaker 3:

teens crave. Yeah, they are designed to addict us. But the people who have even admitted this, they're designed for that. So now we're left with the okay, how do I re? How do I rewire this differently to prevent?

Speaker 2:

that from happening. I can imagine that. Okay, I have one more question for you. I do so you have, you have formed this system sounds amazing and I feel like it seems doable. It doesn't seem overwhelming, it seems very, you know, workable for people. Has there been something when you've been building your business, or a bit of advice, that you tried something that just didn't work? That was a total disaster, right? What did we pick from?

Speaker 2:

Well, you know, or you know, I thought this was going to work but it didn't, and you know where you learned from it.

Speaker 3:

right Cause every year is the, and it's something I'm I'm still. I'm still reminding myself of this every single day. And if I could go back to myself when I was really, really launching the business and getting it off the ground, um, is, it is so easy as a business owner to get that shiny object syndrome right. The latest, the latest new marketing strategy, the latest new thing, the latest new way that everyone is saying is working for them. Um, and it's very easy to think that we have to build lots of things to be successful in business. Yeah, yeah, when the fact is, if you have something that works, that you know is working, that sells I mean, like for me, my top program. I know it works. We've had thousands of women go through it. I have a page a mile long of testimonials from women that have gone through it. I speak with them every month and I still get tempted to go oh, but I could also build up.

Speaker 3:

No, what if, instead, I spent my time just focused on more people in the top program and making sure they are all served? Well? And so I know, when I look back, I have wasted. I wouldn't call it wasted. Well, no, I am, I'm gonna call it wasted.

Speaker 3:

I have wasted time building things because other people were sharing that this was the way to go, whereas instead, if I just can stay laser focused on doubling down on saying this is my thing there's a book called the One Thing. It's a great read. I think every entrepreneur should read it and just say this is my one thing. I need to make sure everything I do in business supports this, because the data is showing me this works, instead of feeling like we have to add. I mean, sometimes I'll go on people's websites and it's like here's my list of 22 courses that you can choose from, and they're across this whole range of topics, because they're thinking well, if I just create another thing, then I could sell that, and then I could reach that person and that person and that person, instead of just saying this is what I do, yeah, mm, hmm, mm, hmm of just saying this is what I do, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and that's easy to get caught up all of that, especially now with social media, and go down the rabbit hole of looking what everyone's doing.

Speaker 3:

Cause there is a lot of noise in sort of all the spaces right, or because a customer you know, an existing client or customer I get. I get requests for could you also teach? And I'm like I could, but I'm should I no. And so in an effort sometimes to serve our existing customers, we can get derailed in going down. It's a slippery slope of it's kind of in line with what I do, instead of now, like people will come to me all the time oh could you just show us how you do your decluttering of your photos and keep your digital photos organized? No, I will not. Here is the person that you go to for that. I could build a whole training around it, but again, that's pulling me away from what I do.

Speaker 2:

What your focus is.

Speaker 2:

I love that I think even if you don't own your business. Don't own a business and you're working from home and you know whatever, you're just overwhelmed. Staying sort of that like laser focused is too strong of a word. But staying focused on really like that big picture, right, and there's always going to be a new shiny object, there's always going to be something, but you know what works and just what we don't want to be is that ball in the pinball machine, right, whether it's time at home, whether it's work, whatever, where it's just like ping, ping, ping, ping, ping.

Speaker 3:

I'm over here. I'm over here Like no, pinball's a great game to play, but let's not be the physical ball in there that's just constantly all over the place all the time.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so why do you call your company the Pink Bee? I'm curious about that too.

Speaker 3:

I'm curious about that too. We wore pink for you Same. Yeah, my pink is just lower on my sweater.

Speaker 2:

This is my office. I wanted to show you oh. I love that. Look at all that pink. That's awesome. I love pink, yeah, so tell us about that.

Speaker 3:

Well it is. I'll make it short. I have. The B part came from a. I was the co-founder of a software company a while back and the bee was part of that business and I got very well known around that and people always would call me the queen bee. And when that company ended up dissolving the software company, it hit me very hard. It was just very hard to shut down a company that you've poured your heart and soul in and I had this love of all this bee stuff and people had sent me bee stuff and so I had always in the back of my mind wanted to find some way to keep that positive and not this to me. My bees started becoming like a sign of failure and I didn't want that.

Speaker 3:

The pink is something. I've always loved pink. And when I was out of college and I was going for a job interview, I had on the traditional black suit with the black stockings and heels and I had a very light pink blouse on and my roommate at the time she's like I wouldn't wear that, you won't get hired Like, take the pink off. And I listened to her stupid me. And years later I was speaking at a conference, a technical conference, and I was backstage waiting for my turn to go up and it was a very male conference and I had on black pants and a blouse and a light pink blazer and they said do you have a different blazer you can wear?

Speaker 3:

Number one, it'll be distracting, and number two, I will not be taken seriously. And yet I love pink and there's always this backlash of pink is girly and feminine, like it's a bad thing. And so when I left corporate, it was a journey for me to reconnect with my femininity again and to own it and be okay with it and not be embarrassed by it and not see it as a sign of weakness. So those two things just kind of came together as the pink bee. So for me, that's that is why I love this name so much.

Speaker 3:

I love that story and it was interesting because I was in a mastermind group of business owners and I'd always just branded everything under my name. But the business was growing so fast. I was like I want to get a name for the company so that it's not you know, we have a future of things, that's not just me. And I said I really want to call it the Pink Bee and I was advised strongly against it. Strongly against it because it doesn't say anything about what you do, it doesn't let people know about time and like nothing. And then someone brought up an example. So I brought up the example. I was like well, I mean, look at the Nike swoosh Like that doesn't say we're athletic. Or look at the Amazon smile that doesn't say what Amazon does, like it's just a name. And then the brand people know it and one of the gals goes well, that you know that's awfully bold. So you're comparing yourself to like Nike or Amazon. So that just made me be like yeah, watch me, yeah.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

Speaker 3:

I can't tell you the number of emails, and I mean mean I even get gifts in the mail from students from all over the country in the world even who send me stuff because they're out somewhere. They see a bee thing and they see something and they think of me, yeah, and it feels like it's our little, it's like our own little community secret of our shared, yeah, little pink bee. So I love it.

Speaker 1:

Bees are good luck in Greece.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes I thought it was like busy bee. I thought it was like busy.

Speaker 3:

Nope, I am kind of the queen bee, the whole swarm mentality. I did a whole episode on things about bees and why why I named it this. But when you read up on how a queen bee on a hive really works, it's not at all what you would think and I, so it made me love it even more, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Oh, so how can our listeners find you and do you have anything? Do you have one of your workshops coming up or what do you have coming up?

Speaker 3:

So you know I mentioned the top program is something that's always out there but I love to do. I do a couple live events every year. It's just a way for people to get to know me better and a way for me to teach something really specific. So once I only do this once a year and it's coming up here um, I am doing a free event called master your morning. Uh, and it's only 30 minutes a day for five days and I teach everyone a step-by-step process to create their own unique morning routine based on two things their specific personality type. So we actually do a personality assessment and then second the realities of their home life in the morning. Right, I'm not going to tell you what time you need to wake up.

Speaker 3:

I promise I am not going to tell you to get up and meditate and do yoga and journal, all right, like that's not it's a way for people to discover what is a way to start their day that sets them up for success, based on who they are and the realities of their life. So it's a ton of fun because we get to see all the different morning routines that people create. So if you want to join that, you can just go to meganstommerlcom. Forward slash master your morning and it's a free event and, yes, replays are available. You can't be on live every day. You can come back and watch it and stay along.

Speaker 3:

And then, as I mentioned, if you want to see a little bit about some of the time management teachings, the app is a great place to start. So you can search either the app store or Google play and just search for the pink bee to unlock all the training in. It is just a $4 and 99 cents us one time it's not like a monthly subscription or anything and so you. It unlocks I think about five courses there inside the app to just give people a little flavor of um I teach, introduce you to the whole top framework and stuff like that in there too.

Speaker 2:

And what's your? What's your Instagram? Megan Sumrall, Very easy to find. Yep, okay, and we'll. We'll link it in the show notes for sure. Look for pink. Okay, I know how to do that. I think that's great, nicole, and I love that.

Speaker 1:

So, nicole, what time is it? It's my favorite favorite time.

Speaker 2:

It is unsolicited advice time. Well, thank you so much for being here. We have learned so much and I know all our listeners are going to love hearing about this. If you have any questions, reach out to Megan. You can message her on Instagram. She would love to help you out. Now we're going to do our favorite time. It is a little bit. I mean. You've given lots of advice, I have to say, but what do you want to start, Nicole? What's your unsolicited advice for the day?

Speaker 1:

Oh geez, my unsolicited advice. I might take some of Megan's advice and just regurgitate it. I'm just kidding, but as, listening to this, what struck me was, I don't know what brings me joy and what I do for fun me joy and what I do for fun. I was thinking about it while we were talking and so I started having these things, and it wasn't about other people in my life and what brings them joy, and I don't feel guilty, but I just I don't know that I make it intentional. So I think you should be like me and think about what truly brings you joy, what brings you fun, and just start the list. Just start there, because it is not an easy thing, because I have been thinking about this for the last hour and I'm still trying to come up with something other than other than reading. So that's my, that's my unsolicited advice.

Speaker 2:

I love that. Write it down, put it on a post-it so you can see it Right. And it could be. I think you find well, I mean I'm not going to tell you, but I think you find joy in walking your dog.

Speaker 3:

I do.

Speaker 2:

I find joy in walking mine, I do, I don't so.

Speaker 3:

I. I started a year and a half ago taking cello lessons Cause I always wanted to learn how to play the cello. I'm not going to be in a band, I'm not going to be in an orchestra. I'm 50 years old, for the love of God, like. But it's for me and I love it. So I mean, and I think people think they have to have a reason for it. The only reason is that something you want to do.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I guess I've always wanted to learn how to play the piano and I love painting, but I don't, I don't. Maybe I could take a painting class, yeah, or learn how to bake at altitude.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, learn how to bake and cook at altitude. Bake at altitude yeah, learn how to bake and cook at altitude.

Speaker 1:

Gosh, that's a struggle.

Speaker 2:

Okay, all right, so I got three things.

Speaker 1:

Look at that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we're finding joy for you all around, yeah thank you what about you, alex, you know I loved hearing everything that Megan had to say.

Speaker 2:

I think and this is from personal experience too if you're listening to this and you're feeling like, wow, this sounds so good, but how do I do it, right? Um, I think, knowing that there's hope to have this harmony and I really believe that, and like I've said from the beginning, I've been working on this for a year and I'm still working on it Right, this stuff that Megan's talking about is not easy, right, if you think it's easy, it's probably not going to work. But really being honest with yourself about who you are, like you said, and what's important to you Because, as I'm on my way there, you gave me more tips to continually change and adjust, and I think just realizing it is a process, like a lot of things in life that it's not going to be perfect overnight, but you will get there and like adding that happiness to your life I never knew like it connected to your schedule, right, or your productivity, I guess you could say, but how it's all together in harmony, I think is such a beautiful thing and it is possible.

Speaker 1:

So I love that. I think we've all cried when we think about what brings us joy. Honestly, I I have teared up at least three times throughout this and I think it is something that we women just struggle with, and I think this conversation needs to be had at a much younger age. Than trying to, than trying to um change your mindset and be okay with doing things for yourself in in midlife. I mean I that's just my take on it.

Speaker 2:

And your kids are going to see that right, like I've noticed. You know I've been doing some things. You know your kids are going to see you painting and think that's interesting. You know the things we prioritize our kids and my my family has the opportunity to.

Speaker 3:

I. I inconvenience them a little bit when it's time for me to go practice my cello, just as they inconvenience me sometimes for their activities. I mean, I probably need a better word than inconvenience. But we're all seeing that we work together as a team to make sure that everybody in the house has has time for themselves to do the things that they love. So on some days cause we have a puppy right now, so we kind of can't leave her unsupervised. So that might mean hey, my daughter, you're downstairs for the next 30 minutes doing dog duty because it's my turn to go practice for the day.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, I love that. Oh well, thank you so much for being here. We were honored that you were here and check out Megan, message her with any questions and thank you guys so much. Thank you, thanks, and that's a wrap for today's episode of don't call me midlife. We hope you had as much fun as we did.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely. Your support means the world to us. If you're just waiting in the carpool line, don't forget to follow the show, and if you're feeling extra spicy today, leave us a rating and review.

Speaker 2:

Before we part ways, we've got a special invitation for you. Join our newsletter to stay in the loop with all things midlife magic, bonus content and more.

Speaker 1:

Head on over to the show notes for how to sign up. We can't wait to keep the conversation going.

Speaker 2:

And, of course, remember, in the whirlwind of life and motherhood, don't forget to fill up your own cup first.

Speaker 1:

You're extraordinary and your journey is worth every moment Until next time Cheers.